#you have to be a person to have the worth required to have your own needs and have them respected

[africanmorning]

Speaking as someone for whom PT was a mostly (not completely) effective treatment, but the upkeep required to prevent regression was too taxing, I really want to add that it's also totally fine if you choose to just not have penetrative sex or even not have sex at all. There is a lot of societal pressure to "put out" for romantic partners, and people say some downright nasty things about those who can't or won't, but a partner who truly cares about you won't pressure you to let them hurt you against your own wishes. It's also okay if getting treatment isn't your top priority. Finding a doctor who will take you seriously, getting put on a waitlist, and trying to keep up with medications/therapy can be a long, involved process, and it's absolutely reasonable to decide that school/career/money/other health issues/anything else under the sun is more important right now (or forever). If someone is asking you to dedicate resources to making yourself more sexually available at the expense of your ambitions, health, and/or financial security, I suggest taking time to reflect on whether or not this person actually cares about your best interests in the long run.

Personally, I found that most of my distress didn't actually come from vaginismus itself, but from being with a partner who slowly made more and more of our relationship contingent on whether or not they could have penetrative sex with me and from fear and guilt that being unavailable to my partner in any way would make me a demanding, unreliable, and outright bad partner.

Now I am in a different, genuinely loving relationship that doesn't demand that I regularly hurt myself, and my ace friends have taught me that it's ridiculous to hinge my entire worth on my sexual availability and that I can and should have the self-respect to look after my own happiness and wellbeing (seriously, shout out to the ace community in general for being some of the most reasonable folks out there). I still have vaginismus, and it still sucks, but it bothers me much less, my love life has drastically improved, and I am much happier than I was before.

We all know what erectile dysfunction is but literally no one is ever taught what vaginismus is and it can cause people to feel extremely lost, broken, and cause people to take their own lives. Raise. Awareness.

[rigelmejo]

Something that always annoys me is the idea only 1 language learning method works. Which is not true. While it may be possible that, for a particular individual, only a few out of many study methods may work well enough for That Individual to make progress and stay motivated... that doesn't mean all the other study methods won't work for anyone else out there, or that those few methods will work for every other given person.

Obviously if you've been studying a while, then you already figured out what kinds of things work for you and don't. If you're a beginner, just wading into studying?

I would suggest you simply look for study methods that: 1. Teach you new things regularly, 2. Review and practice things you've learned, 3. Include studying things you need for your particular goals (for example if your goal is to read X book then the study materials at some point should involve reading practice and some words the book contains, if your goal is to talk about Y then the study materials should include some information about pronunciation and words you'll need to be able to say).

As you can imagine, a TON of study materials will meet these requirements. And you can study a given skill in a LOT of ways.

(Reading is my focus lol so just for reading, a beginner might: do vocabulary study with lists or conversations with native speakers or watching shows and looking words up or listening to dialogues with a transcript like in a textbook or graded readers or a picture book with word labels in the target language or a video game with labelled objects in target language, all of those things as long as your vocabulary is improving or reading practice is happening would help you make progress). So to improve reading skill as a beginner: you could study with a textbook, a podcast with transcript, a classroom or tutor with words written down in target language (like TPRS), a video game, a TV show and a translate app on your phone, a friend you talk with (who either writes words down or you look up words you hear with a translate app), a friend you text with, srs flashcards like anki (provided there's text) etc. As long as there's new words, and/or you're practicing reading, the study method may work. If it works will come down to if you can stay motivated doing it regularly, and make sure you regularly learn some new things and review/practice things you've already studied.

So consider those things when you see people selling a study method as a product (especially when it's costing you money). Consider if it teaches you NEW things, and are those new things related to your goals, and how MUCH new stuff will it teach you before you finish it? Consider if it provides review or practice, or if you can use it's materials to review on your own making up your own method, or if you'll need to do separate review/practice.

So examples:

LingQ. Can it teach you many new words? Yes, thousands, since you can import any texts you want when you get done with their provided material (I have no idea how much their beginner material covers though in terms of words... I would hope 1000-3000 words but that can be researched). Is your goal reading? It's suited to reading, so you will practice and review often with it. Cost? I think it was $12 a month when I last had it, and the price may have increased. Is it worth it? Depends on a learner's needs. I found it was wasting my money, so I chose to use free tools like Pleco and Readibu apps - since those apps are suited for Chinese learners and have better translations, Pleco has better paid graded reader material if I was going to spend money, and both Pleco and Readibu let me import texts so I can learn thousands of new words just like LingQ but free. Now that I'm not a beginner, I often use Microsoft Edge to read chinese... since I can still click-translate words easily (all my web browsers have that tool free), and Edge's TTS voice is helpful for pronunciation and sounds quite good. I read webnovels online so Edge works well. But it's translations aren't as good as Pleco or Readibu, so if I still needed translations more I would use them. So... is LingQ a good study method? Its certainly a study method marketed to buy. Well... the method is suited to improving reading skill, at least. It costs money, which is a negative, but it does offer a lot. However: everything it does regarding reading can be done free with other apps or sites or web browsers on their own. So if paying money motivates you to read... sure. LingQ does have a few word tracking features a learner may find worth the money, keeping in mind the actual read-to-learn method can be done free without lingq. (Also... while LingQ is a valid option for improving reading, if the learners goal is speaking then it would be important to think of what study activities the learner will do OUTSIDE of LingQ to improve speaking... because I've seen how LingQ is marketed as "how to learn a language" but it's only focused on some skills. It has vocabulary and grammar in some sense, since you'll read a lot and encounter new words and structures. But it doesnt have speaking or writing practice at least last time I was on it. Those activities would need to be worked on, on your own).

You can do that kind of cost/benefit contemplating with any study method material you see being sold. Amother example: there's a beginner Mandarin course called Mandarin Blueprint. It teaches like 800 words. Thats all. It may be worthwhile for a beginner... who still needs to learn 800 common words. But if you already know a few hundred words, the benefit of the course is less, you'll need to find a new material to teach you more new stuff soon. And the price was like a few hundred for the course... which for me personally was too much to spend, when I had already learned 800 hanzi from a book that cost me 12 dollars and 2000 words from a free user made memrise deck. The course claimed to get a person speaking, competent, but anyone not a beginner would say speaking basically with 800 words is nowhere near the level of working in Chinese or just doing a lot of daily life stuff, or reading/listening to media. (Although for the motivated beginner if you're learning 800 words on your own like I was, its definitely close to the point of jumping to learn more words and start reading kids and teenager books, and watching easier shows if you're willing to look new words up). So to me... Mandarin Blueprint felt like overselling some basic beginner materials. (Again when I know several other things that teach beginner stuff either more in depth so HSK test prep classes, and college courses, or that teach beginner stuff to the same depth as Mandarin Blueprint but free).

Some study materials aren't going to act like they teach everything. I've seen chinese courses just for learning to speak tones better and general pronunciation - probably worthwhile if your goal is to improve speaking and a teacher could help improve the issues your having. But a learner needs to be aware for that course that they'll need to study vocabulary on their own, its JUST a pronunciation improvement course.

[goldkirk]

Got my first meeting with a psychiatrist in over a year since the last one demanded details about trauma when I was visibly sweating and shaking! Let’s hope today goes much better and that I have the prefrontal cortex online enough to leave if necessary instead of tolerating that kind of thing again

[slippery-minghus]

oughoughoughhh maybe i'm just not in the right headspace to be reading it right now but the "the beginnings of self-definition" chapter of susan forward's toxic parents book is fuuuuucking me up

[ultralightpoe]

JUNO - Bucky Barnes

Authors Note: Gah, here we go again with the bucky fics since he looked so damn good in that trailer! Enjoy!

Word Count: 4215

Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT.....and more smut.

Requests: OPEN

Main Masterlist ~ ~ Halloween 2024 Event

[Thank you for the gif @ayo-edebiri ]

Enjoy!

“Don't have to tell your hot ass a thing

Oh yeah, you just get it

Whole package, babe, I like the way you fit

God bless your dad's genetics, mm, uh”

-

You were a terrible terrible person, this was a fact. It would be put on whatever wikipedia page they made for villains as soon as people figured it out, which considering the rage building in your body would be any moment now. Why were you a terrible person? That’s easy to explain. 

There was a time where everyone avoided your boyfriend like the plague, when the Winter Soldier cliche had been stuck to his image like a nail in a tire and everyone treated him like crap. And who stayed by his side? You. Not that it was ever about keeping score because you just wanted what was best for him. But now that people are all about kissing his ass since he had some new found fame? You wished things would go back to the way they were. And that made you a terrible person. 

Who would want things to go back when your love was treated terribly?

But then you see girls like Montana clinging to his side and that little green monster in the pit of your stomach begins growing and growing until it leads to moments like now, with you standing at the bar clutching your glass like it was the only thing tethering you to this earth. 

Yet another gala was being thrown, this time it was ‘Rockstars for Schooling Funds’ and Bucky was required to attend for PR. And attend your man did. The jacket, the tie, the pushed back hair and the hot ass glare. 

From the second you saw him ready for tonight you were ready to pull him into the bedroom and never leave, your skin grew hot just remembering the feeling of his hands roaming your body as you tried to lead him into the bedroom. He obviously didn’t fall for it and now you were here watching Montana hold onto his arm as she laughed at something he said. 

As if sensing your glare he turns to catch your eye, and you know that he was surveying your safety by the sharp look in his eyes and all you can think was ‘God bless your dads genetics’.  But you refuse to break for him, so you shrug and turn back to the bar ready to order yourself another drink. 

Best thing about wearing a dress like the one you were wearing tonight? Attention.  Within seconds the men at the bar were clamoring to buy you a drink, crooked smiles and lame pick up lines. The prized contender? The southern man with kind eyes wearing his very own black cowboy hat. 

This could be fun. 

“What’ll it be?” He drawls and you have to fight off the blush filling your cheeks just at the sound of it. 

“Hmm, I haven't decided yet.” You flirt, batting your lashes for a second. “Think you can help a girl out?”

“There’s the ‘Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy’.” He reads off the little menu, looking up to you from under his hat, giving a smooth wink and you huff out a small laugh. 

“Would it be worth my time?”

“It’s the best on the menu from what I can see.” As if on cue you both look out to the crowd around you at the gala, with loud music and cheesy rockstar costumes, and whilst he is trying to make a point your eyes roam for a familiar head of hair. But the group that Bucky had been sitting with for the past 30 minutes was now short a member, your man. “Who would want to waste time with any of these cruds when you could have a real drink sugar?”

But the words were lost on you as your eyes traced over the room in a hurried panic. Where did he go?

But then your nose fills with a familiar woodsy scent as a familiar arm wraps around your waist in a tight grip that has the cowboy standing straight up in his own panic. 

“Yeah Doll, how bout a real drink?”

-

“You make me wanna make you fall in love

Oh, late at night, I'm thinking 'bout you, ah-ah

Wanna try out my fuzzy pink handcuffs?

Oh, I hear you knockin', baby, come on up”

-

That little green monster building in your stomach? Now she had a fire pal burning straight through your skin at the image of the icy glare Bucky managed to send in the cowboys direction, the fingers on your waist tightening and digging into your skin. 

“I was just talking to my friend here about drinks.” You hum out, watching his jaw tighten as he continues to glare. “What do you know about drinks?”

The cowboy, who you now knew to be a foolish man since he still stood in that spot, lets out a smooth chuckle. “Considering he’s holding an old fashioned I would say not much, Sugar.”

“Really? I always thought that the old fashioned ways worked in seduction. At least they did for me.” Bucky all but growls out, pulling you closer to him. “Now how bout we ask the gal. Do my old fashioned ways work?” 

As if to prove his point he presses his thigh between your legs just a notch and squeezed at your waist, you were lost. 

“No words? Hmm? Interesting.” He smiles, “Think you need a break from the crowd?”

He doesn’t waste time waiting for an answer, rather he keeps his grip on your waist as he leads you through the large gala, keeping the glare on his features that has people backing away to avoid his anger. You however basked in it, and as he lead you into the bathroom with the slam of the door and an easy movement to lock the door. 

You got right to work, hopping onto the counter and wiggling a bit as he turns back to you. 

You look up at him through you lashes, kicking one foot out a bit to expose your leg to him. “I mean not that I don’t love this vibe, we didn’t pack the handcuffs baby.” 

“Oh so the pretty girl thinks she’s funny.” He chuckles, stepping forward and moving his hands to the top of your thighs to squeeze before pulling you forward harshly. “In case you haven’t realized it, this is the moment where you start giving me reasons to give you what you so badly want.” 

Words failed you as his palms roamed your skin, rubbing soft circles to begin pushing up your dress. 

“Oh, I’m the one in trouble here?” You huff, leaning back as he pushed his way in between your thighs. “Funny, here I was thinking of granting you mercy.”

“Oh that’s how we are playing it, huh?” And just like that he is pressing the pad of his flesh thumb right onto your core, pulling a sharp gasp from you as you tried to close your legs out of instinct only for him to press you down with his metal hand. “You were saying, sugar?”

“Oh…” You moan, back arching as he circles his thumb with a smug smile, leaning into you to pull your lips into a fervent kiss. It draws your breath until your gasping into him for air, your hands woven into his hair to keep him there and save you all in the same go while he teases at pulling your panties down only to pull back in a matter of seconds leaving you there to try and catch your breath. 

Seconds away from achieving your high only to be left stranded leaves you whining and leaning forward to get him back into your arms. 

He tsks at you, pushing you back gently as you continue whining. 

“What will you give me?”

“Anything.” You gasp out, kissing at the wrist of the hand holding you back, nipping at the flesh of it as you reach for him metal arm to pull you back in. He gives in a little, allowing you to press your hips into his so release some of the pressure. “Please baby.”

“Then how about you behave for the last hour, and we’ll go home and get you sorted. Yeah?”

“Fine,” You snip out, tracing your hand up his metal arm before making it to his collarbone and pressing your hips further into his. “I’ll be good. I promise.”

-

“I know you want my touch for life

If you love me right, then who knows?

I might let you make me Juno

You know I just might”

-

And you feel like a fool for making that promise as he leads you through the crowd once more, this time with a pressure begging to be released in your lower belly as he keeps his metal hand on your lower back. The chill of the metal while your body is ablaze has you reeling, reaching a hand back to keep a hold on him. 

You think of all the things he can do to you as he talks with the Galas president, digging your nails into the sleeve of his tux as you push your thighs together a bit, leaning your nose into him to inhale his scent as he talks with a bold presence. 

When that Montana girl comes back you learn that she is an assistant for the program and that little green monster leads you to nip at his ear in front of her before kissing at his neck to leave a lipstick mark. 

He looks at you for a moment, leaning in to give you a peck on the lips before turning to talk to her some more but it’s too late, you’re already in a haze. The green monster and the red flame have mixed to make their very own monster. 

So you pull him in by his tie, pressing your lips to his ear and whispering the words you knew would break him. “Gimme me a baby.”

-

“Let you lock me down tonight

One of me is cute, but two though?

Give it to me, baby

You make me wanna make you fall in love (Oh)”

-

It was the one secret weapon you’ve never used, but have always known about. 

Back in the beginning of the relationship while you were learning the ins and outs of eachother you noticed how much he loved the pill since it hadn’t been too popular back in his day. He loved the freedom it gave him to mark you as his, but you also noticed the lingering gaze on your stomach and or the intent look he gave when you took the pill. 

But you had never been ready for a kid, you wanted to save that for that someone special who you could raise them with. But you knew that Bucky was it, you knew that he was your touch for life. Why not give in?

And the thrill of giving in the second his eyes meet yours makes it worth it, seeing the heat as he pulls you in so tight you might as well be one person. 

“Come on baby, one of me is cute but two though?” You whisper, leaning up to bite at his lip before his hands come up to pull you into a feral kiss as he begins to lead you out the doors. 

-

“I showed my friends, then we high-fived (Ah-ah)

Sorry if you feel objеctified (Ah-ah)

Can't help myself, hormonеs are high

Give me more than just some butterflies”

-

“Easy there.” He grunts out the second you press him into the seats of the limo, straddling him with ease as your nails rake down his chest to begin tracing the buttons of his shirt. “I might feel objectified.”

“I don’t give a shit,” You gasp, ripping his shirt open before attacking his chest with kisses. You take to kissing his chest, dragging your lips from spot to spot in order to mark him as much as you can as he pulls you down to move his hips into your with a groan. 

Your eyes flutter closed at the heat that crosses through your body at the sound, whining out a bit as he begins to grind into you, pulling you up from his chest with a swift pull to lock your lips together as the limo makes a turn. 

The kiss was feral, teeth gnashing, thigh clenching kiss that has you gripping his shoulders and pushing your hips into his a little quicker. Biting down onto his lip when he stills your hips with his hands before pulling back. 

“You gonna let me lock you down?” He whispers, rubbing your hip as he moves you with ease until your legs are splayed over his lap and he can reach between them to pull more moans from you. “Gonna let me keep you forever?”

“Yes….” You whine out the second he begins rubbing at your core once more, this time with the metal hand. The chill of the metal over the fabric is driving you crazy and you press your hips up for more pressure and as a sign you want the panties off. 

He is quick to oblige, pulling his hand to the waistband of them and ripping them off in one easy movement before pushing his fingers back to ease one into your center. “I’ll give you anything you want. But you already knew that when you said I could give you a baby. Didn’t you?”

And just like that he pushes two more fingers in, curling them in a fluid motion as his lips press into the pressure point of your throat. He works his fingers in a fast paced motion as you close your eyes and give into the feeling, letting him suck and bite at your neck as much as he wanted to. 

And once you reach your high he merely speeds up his movements until your shaking in his lap. 

“Atta girl.” He grunts, pulling his fingers up to suck on while you blink at him, still shaking from that orgasm. 

“I love you.” You murmur to him, leaning on for a gentle kiss. He laughs into it, rubbing at the back of your neck in a sweet gesture before putting your torn panties in his pocket and looking to see how close you are to home. 

-

“You make me wanna make you fall in love

Oh, late at night, I'm thinking 'bout you, ah-ah

Wanna try out some freaky positions?

Have you ever tried this one?”

-

The calm ease he had built up for the rest of the limo ride was quick to vanish the second the limo pulled up to the curb, pushing the door open and pulling you out so quickly your legs swing until he pulls you up so you can wrap them around his waist. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” You giggle, letting him carry you inside until the front door closes and he can set you down to lock it. Even in the mix of all this he can never slack on your safety, and you were sure that once he spent all your energy he would come down here for one last safety check. 

You let him do what he needed to do, walking to the kitchen with a fleeting look to him before grabbing a glass of water to sip on while you waited, legs still a little shaky. But you don’t have much time since he comes around the corner into the kitchen, leaning on the fridge with a small smile as he watches you every movement. 

“Everything locked up and safe?” You ask, moving one step closer to him.

“Yes.” He responds, the deep voice causing a shiver to move down your spine as he takes a step similar to yours without taking his eyes off you. 

“I think it’s so hot you know.” One of his eyebrows raise at your words, the small smile turning into a smirk. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone in this world as protective as you.”

He merely hums back, taking another step closer as his eyes roam over your body. “Yeah?”

“Mmhmm. And I was thinking that you deserved an award.” 

“I do?” You almost laugh at how innocent the question comes out, but you don’t have time since your already turning to press yourself into the counter, pushing your hips out and pulling your dress up to expose yourself to him as he audibly growls. “Have we every tried this before?”

-

“I know you want my touch for life

If you love me right, then who knows?

I might let you make me Juno

You know I just might”

-

His hands are upon you in an instant, rubbing at your hips as his body presses into yours to kiss at the back of your neck, and you realize that he is still wearing his undershirt and pants. The metal of the belt buckle digs into your back as you reach back to undo his belt. 

You hear him undo it and get ready, pressing your forehead into the tile of the counter as he grabs your hands and begins wrapping your hands together with the leather belt. And you should be embarrassed at the moan that fills the air once you realize what he is doing before he undoes his pants and you feel him press at your center. 

He’s quick to press in, and you both your moans fill the air as he presses his forehead into the exposed skin of your back before beginning to rut himself up into you. With every aggressive push of his hips into yours the doors of the cabinet on the counter shake, the cold tile of the counter hitting your hip over and over and over as he claims you for his own. 

With one hand holding the belt that is biting into the flesh of your wrists and the other holding the counter to keep you both stable he stands straight and lets free. Every harsh threat is followed by his grunts and your moans, the sound of skin slapping filling the room before the hand from the counter comes to hold your hair. 

It’s feral, and hot. And the feeling of his flesh hand pulling at your hair has you tightening around him enough that he can’t fight his own moan. 

And the second you hear it you are coming undone around him, shaking harshly as he keeps you held up before you collapse, continuing his thrusts until you reach the peak of the high once more and spasm around him. 

Once you come down, panting heavily and keeping your forehead pressed into the cold tile, he works on undoing his belt to release you as he pulls himself out of you and pulls his pants up. 

You are quick to turn on him, tears in your eyes partly due to the intense orgasm and the fact that you still haven’t gotten what you wanted. “Baby please….”

“Easy doll.” He whispers, pulling you into his arms to wrap himself around you, picking you up easily. “You’ll get it. Don’t you fret.”

-

“Let you lock me down tonight

One of me is cute, but two though?

Give it to me, baby

You make me wanna make you fall in love”

-

He carries you into the bedroom bridal style, setting you down at the foot of the bed before leaning down to grab the end of your dress and pull it over your head, kissing his way up your body so slowly you feel like you might just die. By the time the fabric is over your head he throws it to the side, his gaze meeting yours in a tense blaze. 

You knew within an instant that he had gotten serious, and as you kept your gaze on his he let your hands roam until you begin pulling his undershirt off before you reach to undo his waistband. “What’s that look for?”

“Did you know….” He keeps his voice to a whisper as he kicks off his shoes and shucks off his pants, pulling off his socks and throwing everything to the side before moving his hands to either side of your cheeks. “That it’s not actually proven that the amount of orgasms a women has is connected to their ability to conceive.”

“Yeah?” You smile, waiting for him to get to the point 

“I did a lot of research.” He says proudly, “So though the amount of orgasms I give you don’t end up mattering in the end…..they sure are fun.”

And you can’t fight the loud laugh that escapes when he gently tackles you onto the bed, making it bounce a bit as he pushes your thighs open with his hands and pressing them into you by the backs of them. 

“You ready doll?”

“Always for you sergeant.”

-

“Adore me

Hold me and explore me

Mark your territory (Ah-ah)

Tell me I'm the only, only, only, only one (Ah-ah)”

-

He keeps the eye contact, soft and open, as he slides himself between your folds to use your past orgasms as his lubricant before pressing into your center and moaning a bit as he pushes himself in. Whereas the romp downstairs had been feral and fast this one started slow, allowing him to kiss at your face as you adjusted to his size this time. 

His weight presses you into the bed, and your hands find purchase at his back so he can pull himself back before pushing his hips back into yours. Slow and precise, every pull he left a kiss and every push has just enough friction on your core that has you arching your back. 

It had been years of him learning your body and by this point he knew how to play it like the back of his hand. It was his and he liked keeping what's his cared for. When you arched a little more he knew he should speed up, and when you closed your eyes he reached a hand down to grip at the fat of your ass, fingers digging in as he readjusted you both for more pleasure. 

And once you came around him, spasming and moaning loudly, all bets were off. 

-

“Adore me

Hold me and explore me (Ah-ah)

I'm so fuckin' horny

Tell me I'm the only, only, only, only one”

-

His entire weight comes down, crushing you beneath him not that your complaining. Between the warmth of his skin and the mix of your sweat with his you both have traction to move as his thrusts turn wild. 

Over and over at a speed he hadn’t reached with you before, his eyes are clenched shut as he ruts into you, overstimulating you as you begin to sob from the pleasure. Your entire body shakes with every intense hump. 

Between his thrusts you meet your peak once more, screaming out as his own thrusts become erratic and harsher. 

By the time he finishes he leans down to your ear so you can hear the heavy moan that escapes him as he fills you to the brim, shaking and pinching you with his metal arm. And his release seems never ending as he continues to thrust, until you are both completely spent and collapse into the cool sheets. 

-

“(Oh, I) I know you want my touch for life

If you love me right, then who knows?

I might let you make me Juno

You know I just might (Might)”

-

You had managed to fall asleep and only woke up at the realization that he wasn’t near you, vision blurry as you looked around. He had cleaned you up and tucked you in with a glass of water on the nightstand, but his side of the bed was  empty. 

So you sit up, ready to go check on him, until you realize how sore you were and stay on the bed to listen for him. You hear the sound of him shuffling around downstairs to check all the locks before he begins climbing up the stairs. 

You know he makes the noise for you, otherwise he would be as stealthy as an assassin. 

By the time he enters the doorway there is a small smile playing at his lips while you open your arms and pull him in to lay with you. 

“Goodnight.” You whisper. 

“Goodnight, Doll.”

-

“Let you lock me down tonight

One of me is cute, but two though?

Give it to me, baby

You make me wanna make you fall in love”

-

The waiting was the most dreadful feeling. 

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub with the test sitting on the counter between where you sat and where your husband sat in the hallway with the back of his head laid against the door. 

It was silent but not in a malicious way, more of a calming way as his metal hand whirred before the alarm on your phone goes off and you both shoot up to look. 

“Is it…”

“I….”

And you both lean to look at the same time to see just how well those new positions took.

-

[yanderenightmare]

Bakugou Katsuki

♡ TW: implied and/or present elements of dubcon/noncon, yandere, kidnapping, captive reader, quirkless reader, mentioned death of important character, discrimination, drawn comparisons between quirklessness and disabilities, implied bakudeku, drugging, needles, mentions of hypochondriasis, also angst

♡ manga spoilers in a way, but also not really. anyway, read at your own discretion.

♡ gn reader

Sharp crimson eyes assess the fresh scrapes and swelling ruining your soft skin. A deep scowl on his face.

“Tch—look at all this…” he grumbles disapprovingly to no one but himself—too upset with you to acknowledge you, yet treating you no different than if you were glass. “These are gonna last weeks.”

You’d tried running away again—tripped and slipped up all on your own, stumbling through hallways and tumbling down stairs in your panic, only to stop short at the locked door—bolted and padlocked beyond all sane reason.

He was disappointed with you, sure. But that’s not the reason for his current anger.

“Sit there while I get bandages,” he orders, getting up from his crouch, pointing a strict finger at you in threat. “Dare move, and it’ll be bed rest for a whole ‘nother week.”

Bakugou’s obsession with your quirkless nature started a couple of months ago…

It was okay at first—he was hardly the first person you’d met who addressed you with patronizing resolve—but he got weird about it quickly.

You worked at another hero agency he was going to be collaborating with for a big upcoming mission. You weren’t a sidekick or anything grand like that, but a simple pencil-pusher—because they need those too, you know? And you liked your job. You got to work along with some of the greatest heroes in the world, see them up close, and help them out with those things they didn’t have time for—paperwork like budget justifications and incidence reports. Yeah, you might have been somewhat of a pushover, but hey, the salary was good, the environment was lively, and even though you don’t have one yourself, you got to see some really amazing quirks in action. It was, out of what you could hope for, your dream job.

The place was in a real buzz when they heard the number one hero would be joining them for a couple of months. You were excited, too—it wasn’t often your smaller agency would undertake big missions—especially not ones that required such big hero names.

DynaMight wasn’t one to share much of anyone’s enthusiasm. He was strict and down to business and otherwise had a major pet peeve for unnecessary rabble loitering around. He’d stopped mid-meeting at the sight of you, seeing as you were obviously no fieldworker, and had gone as far as to demand you tell him your value as if your presence had been some big distracting nuisance.

Luckily, your Pro-Hero coworkers had stepped in on your behalf and told him you were a transcriber keeping track for later reference. It was probably only a slip-up that they’d added the fact that you were quirkless.

You don’t hold it against them, or well… you did a little, but you couldn’t really blame them either. Evoking the explosion hero’s rage must have made them flustered and desperate to play any sympathy card available to them in the spur of the moment.

Of course, it wasn’t their card to play, nor would you ever have played it yourself, but if the humility was worth anything, it successfully managed to calm the top hero down. Actually, he didn’t say anything for the rest of the meeting. And if you hadn’t been so busy taking notes, you would have noticed his lingering stare.

A couple more incidents had occurred in the office after that. Among others, he’d caught an incoming paper airplane your coworker had thrown your way—stepped right in out of nowhere and cremated it with a controlled explosion before it could hit you.

You’d been speechless for a moment—the entire desk area along with you—confused by his strangeness and, at least in your case, even somewhat appalled by his utter lack of consideration—in your office space, no less. Seriously, top hero or not, you can’t just barge in and incinerate stuff?

“That was an important document,” you'd informed—brow quirked—no regard to how offending him could probably make grounds to have you fired. You'd only slightly regretted it after having said it. But geez, you thought—shouldn’t the top hero have some semblance worth of self-control?

“You shouldn’t be playing around,” he'd stated—tone just as sour as the stink of burned paper tainting the air. “Someone might get hurt.”

You’d almost scoffed at him but had held your tongue until he walked away.

Back then, you’d thought it was an offhand insult directed at you and your respected coworker—that the explosion hero had just called you both unprofessional to your faces, like the biggest scumbag to ever walk in through your humble doors. But looking back at it now, you realize he probably might have meant it in its most sincere regard.

His over-protectiveness knows no limit, you’ve learned—calling it patronizing would be a joke in comparison. He treats you as if anything in proximity might make you shatter by association—like a bubble made from the most thinned-out solution of water and soap.

You’d woken up in your well-prepared pillow room shortly after your agency’s collaboration with DynaMight had ended. It didn’t take long for you to piece together his sickness after that.

At first, you’d thought it was a more severe case of benevolent discrimination. After all, most people treat you with some amount of pity after being privy to your being quirkless—treating it no less than a disability of sorts.

But Bakugou’s view of you was increasingly more unsettling than that—suffering from some type of delusion that has him fully convinced you’re utterly inept without him.

In some odd ways, it would have been better if he was just faking—if he was doing it all, treating you as an inferior for some sick sense of deriving his own sadistic pleasure. But no, you think he actually fully and whole-heartedly believes you’re a danger to yourself and that anything, if not monitored in the perfect conditions of the controlled environment he’s established for you, will result in your fatal illness or harm.

He’s a full-sworn hypochondriac concerning you—even as he himself dregs home some of the worst injuries you’ve ever seen as if it were nothing but a splinter in the rough of his worn soles. Meanwhile, he’s scared that if you leave the bed without socks on, it will give you pneumonia.

You were sure you had a couple of control freaks at the agency, but nothing measures up to Bakugou’s mania. How he dresses you is one thing—how he feeds you is another. An assortment of pills first, all vitamins and supplements, a spoon of cod liver oil, then a balanced meal reminding you of those tragic trays you’re served at the hospital—four times a day without fail—breakfast, lunch, dinner, then supper—he also keeps track of all the water he’s decided you need to drink—all things perfectly regulated according to your size and age.

Then there’s the sleep schedule with a set number of eight hours—no more and no less. Exercise is also necessary—workout plans designed and dictated by him. Nothing too severe, though—he’s afraid your quirkless constitution won’t be able to handle anything beyond thirty minutes max.

And then, of course, there’s hygiene.

You sobbed and fought hysterically the first time he’d washed you—in the tub with him after he’d stripped you naked. In fact, you’d made such a fuss he’d had to fetch a sedative.

Even in your drowsed state of complete numb delirium, you’d still heard how he’d fretted over it—the tiny needle hole he’d torn in your arm—as if that was the real violation, even as he’d thoroughly molested the entirety of your body with different cloths and sponges for no shorter than a full hour.

You’d been terrified, of course—horrified by his meticulous routines and odd nature. Yet strangely, despite his rigid rules, he won't ever get violent to enforce them.

You had expected it of him—being known for his brutality—the hero without mercy—the symbol of retribution. You know he's no stranger to leaving the battlefield bloody. But with you, he won't so much as harm a single strand of hair from your head.

He will instead bargain with you, sometimes for hours. Eat what he tells you, and you’ll watch a movie afterward. Go to sleep, and he'll escort you out to see the sun for a few hours in the morning. Let him ensure you wash correctly, and he’ll allow you to dry and dress yourself.  

And in those moments when you leave him no other option, he subdues you through the help of a needle again and never ever by manhandling you—it was as if that weren’t even a viable option. It was obvious he regarded the sedative as the uttermost last resort, always muttering on about chemicals and whatnot under his breath. It seemed he would rather avoid it at all costs—but also, that if it stood between allowing the disturbance of the schedule he felt was needed to keep you healthy and forcibly putting you to sleep, he knew without a doubt which option he considered the lesser evil.

He was certain of it all. And at some point or another… you had even begun sharing his fear of attracting some sort of illness yourself—even something so small as a common cold. But no, it wasn’t the same. Yours was not a fear of the actual disease itself but of what he might do if he caught you sneezing and coughing. You could only imagine the upgraded pill table he’d have in store for you then and what other measures he’d instill due to his excessive ideas of necessity.

And that’s why you’d tried running again even after what must have been a couple of months since the last time. The thought of his inane insanity having affected you so badly you’d started playing along was all too much a painful realization—you’d felt compelled to reject it—run away even when you knew you’d never be able to make the door open if you could even reach it.

You knew it would be in vain, and even though running headfirst into something you know isn’t going to work might be the first signs of madness—you’re still relieved to have found some remaining worth of fight still in you, even if it couldn’t amount to anything.

He comes back as quickly as he’d left, still muttering to himself, cross about the damage you’ve sustained—like you’re one of the collector’s items he keeps up on the mantle in his office—green costume and a big bright smile. You remember the exposés—they’d been rather gruesome, about the hero who’d died in battle not so long ago—a couple of years back now, give or take. He had the number-one spot before DynaMight.

The current top hero retakes his spot at your feet, sighing deeply once he starts dabbing your minor bruises with disinfectant, followed by unnecessary bandages. You’re silent as you watch him work—all so diligently as he does everything, cutting no corners and running zero lights.

His efforts, done with the very epitome of care, all disgust you.

Your lip curls. “I’m not what you think I am…”

His keen glare stops obsessing over your wounds to look up at your face—he’d already tended to the ones he could see, but he’s sure more would blossom and swell in a couple of hours. It’s beyond worrisome—but it’s his fault in any case. He should move you to a place without stairs—it’s way too dangerous for someone as accident-prone as you.

You make eye contact, and his anger fades at the sight of tears welling in your corners—softening as if he’s convinced even a harsh look will have you shatter in his hands.

“I’m quirkless. But ’m not weak.” You’re sure you preached much of the same back at the beginning of your stay, though then you’d hurdled it at him—screamed it from the top of your lungs until you’d lost your voice, unknowing that it’s a statement he’s heard a hundred times over spoken by different lips from yours.

It’s a funny thing almost… how your eyes remind him of his—so soft and yet brimming with determination—a determination that will only get you killed.

He’d put faith in those words before, believed them beyond himself, and it had cost him everything.

But even so, he can’t fault you for believing in them yourself… they’re what makes him love you, after all.

He smiles gently—a most gut-churning sight from the all-scowling man.

“I’m sure you think so.”

He doesn’t relay it with any type of harshness but pity—gross concern and better judgment—overwhelming oodles of it in his garnet eyes, weighing them down with something so awful as compassion and… you don’t exactly know… but it looks like grief.

♡ part two ♡ more thoughts on this ♡ BAKUGOU KATSUKI masterlist ♡ BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA masterlist

[ezukll]

𝗣𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗻 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀

Pluto in 1st House

Pluto in the 1st House is an intense and transformational placement. It suggests that you have a magnetic personality and a powerful presence. You are likely to have a strong drive and determination to achieve your goals, and you may be willing to go to great lengths to obtain what you want. You may also have a tendency to hold your emotions internally, which can lead to explosive outbursts when things get intense.

Pluto in the 1st House is associated with a strong willpower and a desire to control your own destiny. You may have a tendency to be dominant and authoritative in relationships, and you may also be fiercely protective of those you care about. However, you may also struggle with power and control, and you may find yourself in power struggles or dealing with others who feel threatened by your strength and ambition.

Pluto in 2nd House

Pluto in the 2nd House suggests that you have a deep and complex relationship with money and possessions. You may be driven to build wealth and abundance, but you may also struggle with the fear of losing what you have. You may also have a talent for investing and dealing with money in a strategic and calculated way. Additionally, you may have a need to feel secure and supported in your life, and you may be drawn to possessiveness and clinginess in relationships.

Pluto in the 2nd House also suggests that you may have a complicated relationship with your own self-worth and self-esteem. You may be prone to feeling insecure or unworthy, which can lead to sabotaging your own success or accumulating more than you need as a way of proving yourself. You may also have a tendency to hold on to possessions or money long after they are no longer serving you, simply because of the emotional attachment you feel towards them.

Pluto in 3rd House

Pluto in the 3rd House suggests that you have a sharp mind and a natural knack for communication. You may have a tendency to be intense and forceful in your communication style, and you may also be drawn to controversial subjects and ideas. You may have a tendency to be argumentative or confrontational in discussions, and you may also have a talent for debating and strategizing. However, you may also struggle with impulsiveness and impatience, leading to saying things without fully considering the consequences.

Furthermore, Pluto in the 3rd House suggests that you may have a tendency to be secretive or deceptive in your communications, particularly if you feel threatened or vulnerable. You may also struggle with trust issues and a fear of being betrayed or deceived by others. You may also have a talent for uncovering hidden information and digging beneath the surface of things to uncover the truth.

Pluto in 4th House

Pluto in the 4th House suggests that you have a complex and intense relationship with home and family. You may be drawn to creating or building a solid and secure foundation for yourself, but you may also struggle with issues of power and control in your family dynamics. You may have a tendency to feel possessive or protective of your home and family, and you may also struggle with power struggles and conflicts within your family system. Additionally, you may have a sensitive and introspective nature that requires solitude and privacy to feel comfortable and safe.

Furthermore, Pluto in the 4th House may suggest that you have a complicated relationship with your own emotions and inner world. You may struggle with feelings of insecurity, vulnerability, or powerlessness in your home life, which may lead you to develop intense and complex defense mechanisms or coping strategies. You may also have a tendency to internalize your feelings and keep them hidden from others, as you may fear being judged or rejected for expressing your true emotions.

Pluto in 5th House

Pluto in the 5th House suggests that you have a passionate and intense approach to creativity and self-expression. You may be drawn to creative pursuits that allow you to express your unique personality and talents, and you may have a strong need for creative outlets in your life. You may also have a tendency to be competitive and assertive in your creative endeavors, and you may struggle with feelings of jealousy or envy if others steal your ideas or overshadow your work. Overall, you may have a natural flair for self-expression and a drive to make your mark on the world.

Additionally, Pluto in the 5th House may suggest that you have a tendency to be intense and obsessive in your relationships, particularly in romantic ones. You may struggle with feelings of jealousy or possessiveness, and you may also have a tendency to try to control or manipulate your partners. You may also have a tendency to be attracted to complex or emotionally intense relationships that require you to confront your own emotional issues and insecurities.

Pluto in 6th House

Pluto in the 6th House suggests that you have a focused and intense approach to work and daily routines. You may have a strong work ethic and a tendency to be driven and ambitious in your career. You may also have a keen eye for detail and a talent for organizing and structuring your work. You may also struggle with issues of control and power in your work environments, and you may tend to be a demanding or critical boss or employee. Overall, you may have a strong drive to succeed and a deep commitment to your professional goals.

Furthermore, Pluto in the 6th House may suggest that you may have a tendency to be intense and obsessive in your health and fitness routines. You may have a strong desire to maintain your physical health and well-being, and you may struggle with issues of self-discipline and self-control. You may also have a tendency to push yourself too hard or overlook symptoms of physical or emotional stress until they become unmanageable.

Pluto in 7th House

Pluto in the 7th House suggests that you have a complex and intense approach to relationships and partnerships. You may be drawn to intense and passionate relationships that require you to confront your own emotional issues and insecurities. You may also struggle with issues of power and control in your relationships, and you may tend to be possessive or jealous in your emotional connections.

Furthermore, Pluto in the 7th House may suggest that you have a tendency to attract intense or complex partners into your life, and you may struggle with issues of trust and vulnerability in your relationships.

Pluto in 8th House

Pluto in the 8th House suggests that you have a deep and intense relationship with sexuality, transformation, and other people's resources. You may be drawn to intense and intimate relationships that require you to confront your own emotional issues and insecurities around sexuality, intimacy, and power.

Furthermore, Pluto in the 8th House may suggest that you have a tendency to be intense and obsessive in your approach to money and resources. You may struggle with issues of control and power in your financial matters, and you may tend to be secretive or defensive about money.

Pluto in 9th House

Pluto in the 9th House suggests that you have a deep and intense need for spiritual and philosophical exploration. You may be drawn to intense and transformative experiences that challenge your beliefs and expand your consciousness.

Furthermore, Pluto in the 9th House may suggest that you have a tendency to be intense and obsessive in your approach to learning and education. You may struggle with issues of power and control in your pursuit of knowledge, and you may tend to be drawn to controversial or fringe beliefs that challenge mainstream thinking.

Pluto in 10th House

Pluto in the 10th House suggests that you have a complex and intense approach to career, status, and public presence. You may be drawn to intense and transformative experiences that require you to confront your own emotional issues and insecurities around power and success.

Furthermore, Pluto in the 10th House may suggest that you have a tendency to be intense and obsessive in your pursuit of success and recognition. You may struggle with issues of control and authority in your career, and you may tend to be fiercely competitive and ambitious in your professional pursuits.

Pluto in 11th House

Pluto in the 11th House suggests that you have a deep and complex relationship with friendships and social networking. You may be drawn to intense and passionate friendships and groups that challenge your beliefs and expand your social circle.

Furthermore, Pluto in the 11th House may suggest that you have a tendency to struggle with issues of power and control in your social circles and group settings. You may have a difficult time balancing your own needs with the needs of your friends, and you may tend to be fiercely protective and possessive in your relationships.

Pluto in 12th House

Pluto in the 12th House suggests that you have a deep and intense relationship with spirituality, secrets, and hidden realms. You may be drawn to intense and transformative experiences that require you to confront your subconscious mind and hidden emotions.

Furthermore, Pluto in the 12th House may suggest that you have a tendency to struggle with issues of power and control in your spirituality and emotional life. You may have a tendency to feel powerless or out of control in your emotional and spiritual experiences, and you may tend to be drawn to intense or addictive pursuits to help cope with your inner struggles.

[staryuee]

HOW THEY REACT TO YOUR SILENT TREATMENT.

꒰warnings꒱ not proofread … sigh

⠀꒲ ` synopsis . . . you and your partner are having a “cooling down period”, a time of détente, after a recent argument. how do they deal with the lack of love from you?

⠀꒲ ` characters . . . diluc, eula, wanderer, ayato, gorou, tartaglia, lyney, wriothesley, neuvillette, arlecchino

⠀꒲ ` notes . . . as a psychology student ☝️🤓 i can safely say that the silent treatment is usually frowned upon due to its connotations with emotional abuse, therefore i tried my best to make it apparent that this sort of silence is within the boundaries of the relationship ( ･᷄ὢ･᷅ ) please communicate with your loved ones if you feel a certain way :)

you and your beloved recently had a pretty bad argument. out of respect for both of your feelings you both decided to have a period of détente to allow a gradual recovery of your emotions and logical reasonings.

there was no need to argue, and there was also no need to be hostile or petty; therefore your silent treatment wasn’t a way to maliciously gain control or make your lover come running back to you, it was a way for both of you to regain composure and come back to the topic when prepared.

that did unfortunately, lead to much less affectionate gestures from both of you. of course there was still the casual “i love you” every morning and night accompanied by a simple kiss, but it never went anything beyond that.

while your lover fully knew why this sort of peaceful coexistence was necessary, sometimes it’s sincerely difficult to not just reach out and kiss you breathless.

you’re so close yet so far, it’s unbearable.

R. DILUC — 迪卢克

master diluc has been rather restless lately.

constant muttering to himself, plucking the dried up skin that stuck out from his badly bitten lips, his gloved hands constantly scratching a non existent scratch; honestly, if the fellow residents of dawn winery didn’t know any better they’d think he was possessed and required an immediate exorcist.

adelinde refuses to see her precious baby sink his eyes into ruin purely because he’s out secretly patrolling once he wakes up in the middle of the night to clear his head. you’re always there with him throughout the night: but why does it still feel so empty regardless?

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST ?

diluc is no pushover or people pleaser; if you were guilty, then you’re guilty and he’ll wait all the time in the world till you eventually own up and apologise (please let that come sooner or later though otherwise he’ll give into ruin and sip alcohol for a breather). otherwise, if its his fault, or no ones and it was a mere misunderstanding, the silent treatment lasts for a day. not any longer not any less; he doesn’t allow it to.

he’s more than happy to wait forever for you but gods if he ever made a mistake that accidentally led you to elongating this supposed transient silence till the end of time, diluc would much rather swallow his pride and give his all to you. you’re worth more than pettiness, and he’ll prove that to you once you wake up and get greeted with all your favourite luxuries and a bright, relieved smile on his face.

EULA — 优菈

you’re beyond delusion if you think this woman won’t turn this into a healthy-ish competition of sorts.

you wish to avoid her for days on end? she’s already used to the world avoiding her mere gaze, she can withstand the somber feeling of having the one person who’s fully understood her as the complex person she is self-isolating from her for a little while.

never mind, no, she literally can’t. come back to her right now. we have problem right? lets talk about it, isn’t that what you taught her in the first place? what do you mean you need a break and want to clear your head for a while to not hurt her feelings? you think eula of all people cares about something like that?

she’d rather you spit at her than withstand another hour of this mindless nonsense.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

she doesn’t apologise unless she sees whatever caused this perilous argument in the first place truly hurt you and you ended up in tears; otherwise whats the use in pointless words when you can easily hug it out and call it a day?

she lets you apologise under the guise of “if you don’t, my vengeance towards you will be greater than my foes”, but in reality? eula is hardly paying any attention to the words slipping past your lips. all she’s thinking about is how she’ll be able to shake off this uneasy tension that’s somehow been created between you two.

WANDERER — 流浪者

you can’t tell which one of you needed this little breather more, after all, you’d hope scara would allow himself to soften after distancing from you after a while, and scara hoped you’d see reason within your argument and eventually, as always, forgive him.

but forgiveness is a two way straight in the way most people subconsciously ignore; does he and could he ever forgive himself? that image of your teary eyed face, the harsh puffs of breath you heaved to prevent any more molten venom to burn his plastic skin, the slight clenching of your jaw, fuck it hurt.

he couldn’t admit it at the time, but right now after being forcefully peeled away from you for about week and forcing auntie nahida to listen to his venting rambles? he wished he just gave it all up and did something: anything at all. kissed you, hugged you, consoled you, swiped your tears away with his thumbs, fluttered his eyelashes on your cheek gently as he whispered an i love you.

yet all he could do right now was wait.

wait until you hopefully came back, he couldn’t face you. if you abandoned him he’d deal with it. the petals on the floor and the hushed whispers of “they love me, they love me not” are just hallucinations from his worried caregiver, he swears.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

never would he stoop so low as to apologise.

verbally. that is. if he’s aware that he’s in the wrong (believe me that look on your face does wonders for trying to figure out whats on your mind) he’ll begrudgingly come up with some covert way of making it up to you. he doesn’t want to be stuck in this immortalised silence forever; believe me, he likes your talking more than he realises and this little test trial of abandonment was more than enough proof that your existence within his life is essential.

if you’re not there standing by his side, what even is the point in that fraudulent pacemaker of his? your laughter is in the same shape of his heartbeat; if you’re not here, he’s just back to being that dumb little puppet cuddled ashore in the slim darkness of the night.

K. AYATO — 神里绫人

bile builds up in ayato’s throat, eyes threatening to spill hazardous tears on his paperwork. he HATES being away from you. yes, you’ll be back comfortably in his arms with a kiss on your forehead soon…but time isn’t making that “soon” come any quicker and it’s killing him.

‘silence’ is only the act of not speaking, right? so he’s technically allowed to sneak in pastries onto your desk when you’ve gone to take a break — he’s also most certainly allowed to write down his frustrations about not being able to be overly affectionate with you and then pitifully sliding them under your door in hopes you’ll read them and maybe write one back.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

he desperately tries to convince himself that if he works long enough, he’ll forget the hollowing feeling in his heart that’s left in the silhouette of you. he puts down his calligraphy pen with an exasperated sigh, rubbing his temples with rough motions as if to completely rid himself of any lingering thought of you.

that’ll never work, and ayato thinks you two have calmed down enough so therefore he trudged his way into your room, knocking of course, and sat down with you for a lengthy but beneficial conversation.

without a doubt, ayato will be the one to apologise first. whether it’s a conscious decision or not completely depends on how long he’s been away from you; at some point you just fall back into regular routine completely by accident.

GOROU — 五郎

he’s glad you’ve decided to take this sort of approach to your relationship instead of having a painful battle of the wits with him but right now, he’d withstand a thousand hours of scolding than the way his fellow soldiers worryingly clutter around their little general and ask about his well-being purely because those furry ears atop his bundle of bed hair decided to stay drooped down all week.

but he can’t help it! he’s utterly miserable! you didn’t even give him your complimentary “good morning, have fun at work, be safe” kiss before he left the door in the static quiet of your abode. to top this torture off? you haven’t pet him once, and while he’d normally revel in not being treated like an actual lap dog…you’re a huge exception in that rule!

unfortunately, it’s not like he can just outright demand attention from you merely because he’s feeling a bit down on his luck. you asked for peace, he’ll give it to you. he’s a war veteran but treats you like a flower thats sprouted on a ruined patch of sand.

ehem, but please come back to him soon. please?

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

whatever it takes to get your pretty hand to ruffle through his brunette locks he’ll do, he doesn’t care if the apology consists of him kneeling down on pitifully shaking his head near your thigh with his lips puckered into a pout. shame doesn’t exist within your relationship right? he’s more than willing to apologise first regardless of who was to blame.

if the argument was a little more serious however, he’ll sit down you on your couch that holds so many sweet significant memories within your mind, his head resting atop your collarbone and tail sneakily swishing from side to side now that your heartbeat was so clear to him. he’ll hear you out, talk through it, but more importantly, love and appreciate you.

TARTAGLIA — 公子

nuh uh. you think you’re getting silence with someone like him around? unless one or both of you fucked up really bad, tartaglia can’t see the point in silent ignorance; if you want to ignore him to personally calm down? sure, do whatever you want honey, you’re still getting treated like the other piece of his heart that you are.

if you’re genuinely annoyed he can leave you alone…for maybe two hours thirty minutes max. he loves you so much, talk to him, he doesn’t care if you insult him out of anger, lash out at him if you must. so long as you return into his arms so he can sway you around within his tender embrace and pepper your face with kisses, he’ll be more than happy and satisfied.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

him all day — call it the big brother complex with having to always apologise first whenever he got into a slight squabble or disagreement with his siblings when he were younger, or call it pure unadulterated love for you and the refusal to continue with this pointless staring battles whenever you guys were sitting across from each other.

whatever it is, just know he takes your feelings seriously regardless of the teasing grin across his face when you try not to squirm from the way his hand traveled from across your waist to the slither of exposed stomach. he just wants to assure you that his love won’t ever fade even if it becomes so deliberately one sided. he’s yours, after all.

LYNEY — 林尼

he’s used to eerie silence that bellowed icy winds against his ears, used to the tension that forced out his fight or flight response, but currently all he could do was freeze and overthink. how come this silence seemed so much more deafening than usual?

lyney doesn’t want this worse than capital punishment torture to continue without at least the slightest bit of laughter mingled into both of your days; he tries his best to curve your lips to even the slightest twenty degree lift using whatever he could. silly little flower reappearing trick there, a sneaky kiss to the side of your neck here; just any fleeting desperate attempt for some reciprocation on your part.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

lyney’s used to apologising first given his experiences within the house of hearth and the father herself. so imagine his surprise when you both incidentally stammer over one another as you two splutter apologies helplessly. god he’s so happy your relationship is built open gushes of giggles instead of the splats of tears because if it weren’t for that cute little accident? lyney was sure the second you opened your lovely lips to speak he would’ve teared up.

he missed that voice telling him constant i love yous, the affectionate cradling of his face against your neck and the way you wouldn’t hesitate to hold his flushed face within your cooling hands to comfort him after a particularly stress inducing performance.

WRIOTHESLEY — 莱欧斯利

you left the conversation with an “i love you.” so he knows that you’ll come back to him.

however, the last time he blindly trusted the comforting words of a loved one, it ended with blood on his hands and a lengthy sentence at the fortress of meropide. luckily for his heart and your own, he knows your charms and honeyed words aren’t for show and truly mean something.

wriothesley respects your boundaries and wishes to the t, he won’t speak to you like nothing at all happened but that doesn’t mean he won’t be overly cautious when it comes to your behavioural patterns. if he notices this sentence of silence is clearly taking its toll on you, he will, with no hesitation, talk everything out with you.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

depending on the argument, he’ll apologise first. if it’s rather undeniable that you were the one in the wrong however, he’ll explain his feelings thoroughly until you apologise — the standard. he doesn’t want this silence to end till the fortress of meropide overflows with primordial water so once you see multiple guards on your case more than ever, just know he’d like to talk to you.

NEUVILLETTE — 那维莱特

fontaine has been drenched in rain for the past couple of days. every hour, every minute, every second neuvillette spends alone in his office makes him realise just how grand and solemn it is. everything is so mundane and banal…even the cheerful mutters and chatters of the sweet melusines couldn’t bring a smile to his face — much to the dismay of the little sigewinne who even so kindly brought him a cake to cheer him up…

what makes it even worse is that everything reminds him of you…and oh god the muddied clouds have once again been cursed with rain. this unquenchable thirst for your presence cannot be ignored by a mere sip from his intricate cup and being the ever so carefully mindful iudex, neuvillette sees it more than fit to call this hopeless game of silence to quits.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

regardless of who’s in the wrong, neuvillette apologises first. he’s sorry for letting this go so far, he should’ve just trusted his gut and returned to your side even if it meant having to persuade you with his clever tongue or the coiling of his draconic tail around your leg to pull you sweetly closer.

honestly, if he could, he’d make this a punishment in the fortress of meropide for every couple. you committed a petty, technically non offensive crime? well instead of doing some charity work for the city, you’re not allowed by the side of your beloved for a few weeks.

ARLECCHINO — 阿蕾奇诺

a bunny within the jaws of a spring locked beast thinking it can persuade the tides in their favour with silence? arlecchino is amused you’d think such cheap tomfoolery would work to solve through your problems.

“darling, come here,” she taps her lap with her blood-stained nail, her eyes looking up at you greedily to soak up every single jitter of your movements as you alas fall onto your rightful throne, “my dumb bunny,” arlecchino coos at you with that devilishly low hum of her voice. “do you think the phrases ignorance is bliss, distance brings fondness, truly work within our relationship?”

arlecchino painfully grasps at your waist, that grip only loosening once you comfortably situate yourself on her thighs and lace your arms around her neck per routine. “i’d expect this behaviour from my children at the house of hearth, not you, angel.” she nibbles on your earlobe deliberately, forcing your lips to part just the way she likes. that perfect look of both surprise and desire; it’s a gorgeous display of your vulnerability.

“explain to me your problems, or else we can be at this forever.”

no such thing as the silent treatment when the very epitome of a wordless shadow has betrothed you.

©STARYUEE do not copy, steal or repost ♡ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɪʜᴇᴀʀᴛɢᴀɴʏᴜ

[astro-rainbow777]

♈︎ 𝔄𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔢𝔰 ♈︎

✶ Aries in 1st: Being ruled by the planet Mars, these natives give a bold and invigorating first impression. What you see is what you get with Aries in the first- they have a raw and honest personality- which can be off putting for some people because it can be taken as rude depending on the person/situation- but I have to say you must admire them for being so tenacious and authentic in nature. I can hands down say the best quality about Aries in the first is what you see is what you get! They have a strong ego here, are not ashamed of their behaviors, body or personality - regardless of what others say to or about them. ✶ Aries in 2nd: Bold spenders, can be quick to have, give away and lose money. Fleeting self worth and values- can feel and act confident one hour and then shy and shameful the next. Values honesty, integrity and sense of self- this may be because they don’t have the greatest sense of self. Believes that kids and the younger generations have the most value in the world. Having children of their own could be of the greatest importance- OR (and this is a big or) they could never want kids and value connecting to their inner child and independence greatly. It’s one or the other. Can feel at war with their finances and self worth.

✶ Aries in 3rd: Athletic and popular in middle school/high school. Known for their leadership skills and qualities amongst their peers, classmates, cousins and siblings. Can be the youngest of their siblings or babied by others. Intellectually motivated, driven and competitive. Impulsive and passionate in their speech. May say things for shock value or improv their actual knowledge. Finds stimulation in an intellectual debate and arguing. It’s hard to win an argument with these people because they speak so quickly- their arguing style is just backing people into a corner mentally, they don’t give up easily. However, they can regret things that they say when they are angry or upset.

✶ Aries in 4th: Huge indicator of raising yourself as a kid. Family required you to be very active, you could be the most successful in your family as an adult because of this. Family is a point of weakness for you, mainly because they possess a lot of “childish” qualities. You may feel like your parents/guardians were big babies and never grew up. You could put a lot of energy towards your family, but could have a shorter fuse with them over all people. You may be the youngest out of your entire family. Your family could be competitive with you our vise versa. Your family could be the start of your “Villan Arc” 💀- your family may have childish values, argue a lot or they may be a “board game family”. TW - Worst case scenario- violence in the home.

✶ Aries in 5th: Play fights when flirting, aggressive flirters, acts like they hate their crush. I have this placement lmaooo and I LOVE to play fight with my man- like btch?! You wanna go!?!?!? It’s so much fun to me and usually leads to s*xies ayyye. But that’s definitely a me thing, I love to talk smack to my significant other- that’s how it’s always been. Being competitive, NO BORING DATES EVER! Known to have secs on the first date. Passionate- goooood lovers. Either wants to have kids right away or doesn’t want kids at all- this I huge independence thing that keeps them from not wanting to have kids. You can’t be the baby, if you have a baby! Commitment issues.

✶ Aries in 6th: Enjoys active routines and work place. Known to work in establishments with competitive pay and many enemies in work place. Can be scene as bossy by their coworkers. Needs to be weary of being hypocritical of their coworkers. Temper at work. Benefits from a workout routine. Needs to take out stress and anger from work & daily responsibilities. Can be very active or have hyper pets, may need a big back yard to run their dogs or other animals in. Competitive in health and motivated to be the best version’s of themselves. Picky with their diet and what they decide to put in their bodies. Can have an all or nothing attitude- because theirs definitely a reason why they are so picky. Usually this stems from poor self care habits and bad physical health. ✶ Aries in 7th: Passionate and assertive lovers, the fire they feel for their committed partners are unmatched. They may loose interest beyond physical lust- especially if they don’t take they time to figure out whether or not they ACTUALLY like someone. These individuals could truly find good in anyone so it’s important that they don’t project their desire for commitment onto someone else. They can date or be friends with some bold and persistent personalities- even bossy. It’s important that these natives find someone who will give them some wiggle room to find themselves. These people find out who they are through trial and error in their relationships - it’s typical for these natives to have “failed relationships” that lead them to find out what they definitely don’t like- which leads them to their ultimate truth.

✶ Aries in 8th: This gives the native a hyper-vigilant quality to the native with Aries in 8th. In the past the native may have been made to feel like they didn’t belong, maybe they were bullied, or judged for something they couldn’t control. This may lead them to be on edge, secretive and even defensive about who they are authentically. They are very protective about who they actually are because they have been hurt before- many of these people are Virgo Risings, so it’s interesting to see that this may be one of the reasons why they are so hard on themselves and receive a judgmental sort of reputation. ✶ Aries in 9th: I love this placement so much honestly, because a lot of these natives have the philosophy that they can go after anything that they want. They have a particularly strong sense of self and actually may have a hard time understanding why other people don’t go after what they want or believe in themselves and their dreams. This is a super hard working placement IMO - it gives very much that “I want it, I got it!” vibe! It’s very possible at a time in their life that no one believed in these individuals so they just had to prove themselves to the world, and that’s so beautiful.

✶ Aries in 10th: Go getters in their career- they do best when they are their own boss- they definitely don’t do well with being told what to do because of their sensitive nature. However, they have a lot of creativity and art to give to the world. They need a career that is authentic to who they- a simple 9-5 WILL NOT cut it for these people. So if you’re an Aries 10th and you’re still trying to make your boring, loveless day job work- this is why. It is not in your genetic code to be running someone else’s business 😂 you are the business starter- not finisher! Quit diminishing your own light because I know y’all are hard on yourselves regardless. Pick your hard and go after it!

✶ Aries in 11th: Leaders of the pack, these natives love bringing their friends together and being absolutely crazy with their friends. They are naturally socialites and feel their best when they are interacting in their community and collaborating with like minds. These people live for their down time, special niche hobbies and interests. They work hard to play hard. They may also have some pretty strong humanitarian values they stick by, these natives have no problem with telling people their opinion on any given situation and they really don’t care what you have to say about it 😆

✶ Aries in 12th: With Aries in the house of isolation, hidden endings, mental health, dreams and subconscious awareness- this can make a native who suppresses their anger deeply and keeps a lot of their authentic reactions to themselves. They may feel more comfortable expressing this rage internally or when they know nobody else is around. They may be completely out of touch with their anger and impulses. They could have to isolate before taking action towards their authentic desires or dreams. Dreams can be violent and they may have intense nightmares. These natives can work out their best alone- although they usually like to workout with someone, this keeps them from pushing themselves for fear of being ugly or vulnerable. They don’t like to show their struggle to others, complain or their authentic side.

Happy Aries Season Everyone! I hope you are all safe and navigating eclipse season /mercury retrograde with ease. I am making a series out of the signs in the houses. I hope y’all are enjoying my content! Love you and thank you so much for reading my content and giving me feedback. This is such a sacred study to me. It is my life.

~Kya

[signedkoko]

Oo could I request romantic Vees with a reader who's this famous singer/idol in Hell? (Think, way more than Fizzarolli-level famous)

Valentino | Velvette | Vox [Romantic]

In which you are one of the most popular performance artists in all of hell. Reader is female.

Your name was more than just 'known'; it was plastered along buildings and chanted by millions

He was always scouting for personalities, following trends in people to see who he could drag down into his vicing grip

But you were untouchable, the first thing he couldn't command to their knees before him

Even so, if Val wanted to meet you, he could, and it was extremely new to the overlord to have to go out of his way to meet someone, but he felt it was worth it

He claims it was because you had possible talent, but those closest to him know he had a bit of a celebrity crush

Valentino is not one to be nervous; he would be direct when telling you that he wanted you, again and again, until you eventually granted him at least one night out, just the two of you

Once he has his chance, he'll pull out every stop just to hear you say that you'd like to see him again

He gets so distracted with you that he forgets the part about getting you into his company, eventually brushing it off by saying you 'didn't suit what he was looking for'

Avoiding being under his contract meant he could never command you, which meant he never had anything to be angry with you about

According to him, you were a role model for all the demons he owned

Famous stars require famous stylists, and who better than Velvette?

You'd actually reached out to her personally, since a lot of her work inspired your current stylists, and you wanted an upgrade for your tour of hell

Idol's like you were the exact thing people like Velvette dreamed of having in their portfolio, and she insisted on meeting you so she could see what you were looking for

In all her years, she'd never met an idol so genuine—most were snobbish, greedy, or just told her to 'do whatever'

You came in with photos of things you liked, hell, even fabrics you preferred, and a set list of what your songs would look like in order

She was already in love

You get her personal creations, and she insists on being the one to tailor you herself

" Only the best for the best, right? "

She can feel her bitchy attitude melt, and though she gets extremely bothered when anyone interrupts your sessions together, you ground her

It's not long before you two become official, and while she can't follow you into the deeper rings of hell, she will always be sure to watch your performances in the background while she works

She constantly calls you 'doll', because she's always dressing you up

Influences, aristocrats, idols—none of it was new to the king of social media

Everyone contacted him for their social management, or his team, at least

He didn't do much of the personal work himself; he had far too much on his plate, but he always checked on who was requesting his services

Mostly for the ego boost, knowing the image of so many self-proclaimed "stars'' relied on him

But there was also a list of people he wanted to work for, a list that brought his ego back down and told him he hadn't met his goals yet and had to try harder

You were at the very top

He'd seen a plethora of your performances recorded and reuploaded: best takes, most underrated performances, and unforgettable sets

But he'd never had the chance to see you live until he got a PR package regarding your newest album release

Him? It was certainly interesting to...no shot, you sent him hidden tickets for 'friends only'

He is not fangirling except maybe a bit; he's already cleared his schedule that evening so he can get there and making sure his outfit is cleaned up and ready

Your performance was out of this world, and he is beyond pleased when he is invited backstage to speak with you

There you were, taking off your earrings in your dressing room, smiling at him as if you were old friends

" How was the performance? I'm so glad you came. "

For a moment, hes almost worried you have the wrong person; he seems uncertain of what to say until you continue

" I heard you are hard to win over, so I figured I'd go all out before I ask if you'd consider running my new album compaigne? "

He acts cool, but when he gets home that evening, he is pumping his fist in the air and screaming

Author's Note - I was thinking lilith-level famous, you are THAT girl... Thank you for requesting! I went for a fem! reader because it was no specified

[anim-ttrpgs]

something I don’t get about the disability metaphor is that for eureka monsters obviously it harms another person to eat them. the help a disabled person needs doesn’t actively harm or kill another person. Maybe it’s a difference in perspectives that cannot be resolved

(What I’m about to write could potentially sound very fucked up at first so I’m going to need to trust everyone to read the whole thing before forming an opinion.)

Also this message and response references these two posts.

Eureka’s stance on disabled people is that they (including myself writing this) are, or at least can often be, burdens.

Disabled people often require more resources to live than they are able to “give back,” which, in our capitalist and artificial-scarcity-based economy, is just about the worst thing a person can do.

Anti-ableism sentiment often focuses on the idea that “disabled people aren’t burdens, that they’re just as good and capable as everyone else,” but if they were, they wouldn’t be “disabled” would they? When you say stuff like that, you’re conceding that a person’s worth is determined by how capable they are at doing work, and then having to bend over backwards to justify thinking that a person without arms is just as valuable as a person with arms. Eureka is asking you to decouple a person’s value from how much net resources they can produce.

Often times also, the resources that real disabled people consume are human resources, and those human resources are very much capable of suffering for it. Nurses are overworked, around-the-clock care is absolutely physically and mentally exhausting, people who have to care for their elderly or otherwise disabled relatives on top of their regular jobs don’t get to have social lives or hobbies, etc.

To this end, we wrote the monsters in Eureka to be unquestionably people who “cause damage” to society by literally eating up human resources, because they have to to live, they have no other choice unless they want to just die. Your friend is gone from your life because he has to spend all his free time caring for his comatose wife after a freak car accident. Your friend is gone from your life because a vampire randomly ate him. Providing a metaphor isn't all the monsters are doing, they just work well through that lens.

And then Eureka forces you to look at these people as people, and make up your mind as to whether they have value and a right to prologue their own existence. We can’t force you to agree that they do, but if you think they don’t, then you’ll have to make that argument looking at an intelligent person with a life rather than a pure hypothetical or statistics on a chart.

There are some monsters in Eureka where, if the economy or societal structures were changed, they would stop being such severe drains on resources and could exist harmlessly within society, and there are some monsters where no imaginable amount of societal change would solve the problems they cause. This is true of disabled people IRL as well. Some of them would require no further assistance with living if certain things about society changed, and others would still require a massive amount of human resources.

And even when it’s not necessarily human resources, the extra resources that disabled people need also cause huge energy expenditure and create huge amounts of plastic waste, which are things that contribute to global warming and pollution, which do have significant harmful effects on everyone’s lives. Despite this, they are still “worth it” to keep around.

As for actively causing harm, that happens too. I randomly scrolled past this post after we got this message and saved it so I could link it here.

This person and their family had to cause a big stink in a restaurant just to get an accommodation that they needed, and to us reading it from their perspective, we’re obviously on their side, but I can assure you that the overworked staff at that restaurant didn’t see it that way. They saw the disabled person as an aggressive Karen whom they would never in a million years want to have to provide customer service to. The disabled person & family had to get aggressive, and ruin the staff’s day, to get what they needed. That’s actively causing harm - harm we all agreed was justified to cause - but harm nonetheless.

Plastic straws aren’t that big of a deal for global pollution, but even if they were, the point is that this person still would have needed a straw. It doesn’t line up one-to-one, because metaphors rarely do, but a vampire asking if they can drink someone’s blood, and being told No, may find themselves in much the same position. (And if you bring up that some people find vampires really sexy, you’re missing the point. “I would give them a straw if they had sex with me.” is not actually a great thing to announce about yourself.)

I can also come up with an example from my own life. I personally am very sensitive to noise and noise pollution. If there’s music playing at a public space, I usually can’t handle it. (Earplugs don’t work for other reasons I won’t get into - plus, if I just deafen myself to all sound, how can I socialize with anyone in this public space?)

If I want to exist in this space, I will have to actively cause harm to everyone there, or else stop existing in that space. I will have to go up to whoever is responsible and ask them to turn off the music, actively taking it away from everyone else who was enjoying it. I have to take action to ruin their good time if I want to exist in that space at all, and they might, very understandably, be pissed off at me for doing that. Because, like I said in this other post, the people that monsters eat do have a right to prevent themselves from being eaten by monsters. We aren't proposing that the solution is everyone has to line up to be mauled to death by monsters or else they're a bad person.

Who has a greater right to enjoy themselves in that space? That’s the kind of question that Eureka poses, and makes you consider both sides as human being rather than denoting one as just an ontologically evil villain to be destroyed.

We actually don't know of perfect solutions to all the problems presented by the existance of monsters in Eureka, we just know that "exterminate all people who are parasites and burdens to society" ain't it.

[vigilantsera]

Transitioning on Ravnica: A Guide

Introduction

Ravnica, the city of guilds. Of all the planes on which to be trans, it is perhaps the one with the widest variety of options on how to transition. Indeed, each of the guilds seems to have their own preferred method by which their members (or guildless with enough coin) can become their true selves. But if transitioning is your aim, or if you are unaffiliated and seeking guidance, which guild should you join? We walk through the most common process each guild’s members use to transition below:

The Azorius Senate

Widely considered the most boring of the guilds to transition with, the process for the Azorius Senate does indeed largely consist of filing a large number of forms. In some jurisdictions, assessments by mind-mages are required to assess if the applicant is ‘truly in need of gender correction’, though these practices have been made unnecessary in most districts as of now.

Most applicants hoping to change their gender with the senate will find themselves having to file the needed forms multiple times to correct minor procedural errors, paying additional filing fees and correction fines each time (the Azorius often give the Orzhov a run for their money in this department). As such, the speed and smoothness of the transition process with the Azorius is in many regards a matter of the skill of the applicant (or their assistant, hired or otherwise) in navigating the endless bureaucracy of the senate.

However, transitioning with the Azorius does have several upsides, contrary to the popular view of them being the worst guild to transition with. For one, the forms by which one applies to revise their gender double as forms by which to amend any unwanted element of one’s body, and if one knows the proper procedure, one can sculpt their ideal body using their process down to precise elements. This is a far cry from most of the other guilds, where one’s post-transition body will often be quite similar to their old one or have a somewhat random element to how it turns out.

Furthermore, though the process of obtaining, correctly filling out, and waiting for the forms to be filed does often take months, once approval is obtained, the actual process of ‘correction of applicant’s misaligned bodily attributes’ is performed instantaneously via magical decree.

House Dimir

The Dimir are perhaps the most efficient and effective at changing one’s gender of all the guilds. They have mastered countless methods of shaping one’s appearance – illusory, transformative, temporary, permanent, magical, alchemical, and countless more besides. Though their methods were devised originally largely for the purpose of disguising oneself, they know quite well that there are those who seek them for personal reasons more than professional ones.

It is even rumored that for those of the genderfluid persuasion, or who simply enjoy flexibility of expression, that they possess methods to transform someone of any origin into a shapeshifter capable of near-instantly rearranging one’s body precisely and at will.

If they have such skill and magic, why then are they not the definitive go-to for all trans Ravnicans? Well, the answer is quite simply that the Dimir are loathe to part with their secrets, and even more loathe to surrender something of value for less than its worth. They will use their methods to allow those outside their guild to transition, to be certain… if the one who seeks their favor can pay the price.

Over the centuries, countless guild secrets have been surrendered, and many an aspiring trans person conscripted into spy work and other clandestine missions in exchange for the Dimir’s gifts of transformation. Interestingly, it is thought by some that this may be at least partially responsible for the fact that each guild has developed their own paths to transition – so that those seeking to realize their gender have options besides betraying their home guilds to the Dimir. Still, the speed and comprehensiveness of the Dimir’s methods still draw in the curious even in this more enlightened modern age….

The Cult of Rakdos

Known by many as the ‘murder clown orgy’ cult, the Rakdos of course have more than a few ways to change one’s gender. The two most widely known and commonly used will be described here.

First is the way most commonly seen by those outside the cult’s membership, as it is a frequent ‘party trick’ of sorts at their gatherings. This method involves ‘cursing’ someone to shift into the form of the greatest sexual fantasy of another linked person. Though the ‘safe’ version of this spell links the cursed to a specific other person, other variants link the cursed’s appearance shift to the most amorous person viewing them at the moment, the last person to touch them, or the person in the world most attracted to them.

This can involve the ‘cursed’ person’s gender to shift if the fantasy of the linked person is of someone of a different sex than them. Normally, this curse is intended to be temporary, used for a wild night of debauchery and nothing more, but permanent variations exist, and aside from that the curse seems to have a habit of ‘sticking’ to people who enjoy the new bodies it thrusts them into.

Like most things the Rakdos create, while this ‘curse’ is not seen as such by many who it is cast upon, it obviously has a lot of potential for misuse, and even when used ‘properly’, can sometimes shift not just the physical body but the actual gender identity of the cursed, causing them to see themselves as the gender of the body they have been made to inhabit, even if they were happy with their body before. As such, this curse is best used with caution, though given where it comes from, it almost never is.

The second most common method of transition is largely reserved for actual cult members and is quite a bit different than the curse described above. This form of transition is done via an enchanted ritual dagger, and most commonly performed in a fittingly ritualistic fashion. The person who wishes to change themselves is restrained on a table while a cultist wielding the enchanted dagger asks them to renounce the aspects of their body they wish to be rid of. Though commonly performed with an audience (as voyeurism is quite prevalent among the Rakdos), it can and is often done in a more intimate one on one setting.

In any case, the process is quite gruesome on the surface. The enchanted dagger is used to carve away the unwanted parts of the body, literally slicing off genitals, secondary sex characteristics, and carving into the skin where changes are to be made. Though intensely painful, the enchantment on the dagger is that of healing, and as the flesh is parted, it regenerates swiftly into the form of the desired sex. A severed penis will grow a fully healthy and functional vagina in its place, sliced off breasts will reform into a masculine chest, cuts along the face will soften or harden the flesh as it regrows, and the like. A sublime torment that ends in a newly idealized form, born in a ritual of blood.

The Gruul Clans

The Gruul clans, despite their reputation as uncivilized barbarians, by and large have fairly enlightened views on gender. Many in the clans see gender as what it is – a societal construct, and laugh in the face of gender norms and the rigid views many others have on the subject.

As such, quite a few in the clans transition socially only, not feeling the need to change anything about their bodies to feel confident that they are the gender they feel.

That said, for those Gruul who do desire to change themselves physically to match their gender identity, options exist. Perhaps the most common is going to clan shamans who prepare alchemical treatments from herbs, which change the body over the course of a few months. This is essentially the same treatment commonly used by the Selesnya, despite the specifics of the preparations varying somewhat.

The other method some clans use is the trial of the true form. Using a spirit-calling spell, shamans transform an aspirant into a being closer to the spirit seen as closest to them. Typically, this is some sort of animal or beast. Though temporary, when one reverts to their original form after the trial is completed, aspects of their ‘true form’ remain – often animalistic features, but for trans people, this commonly includes a full (or at least partial) transition of their sex characteristics in line with their true gender.

The Selesnya Conclave

The Selesnya take a very open and accepting view to gender and encourage those in the conclave to explore their presentation and meditate on what they desire even from a fairly young age. Those who decide they wish to change their bodies in alignment with their thoughts are given one of a wide variety of herbal alchemical concoctions which, when taken over the course of a few months, alters the body towards different sex characteristics.

Those undergoing this process are not simply given the way to change their bodies, however, and the Selesnya place a large emphasis on the social aspect of transition as well. Those in the conclave who transition commonly find themselves a mentor who will guide them on how to socialize as their new gender.

Though the Selesnya are very free with their resources to physically transition, their attitudes also interestingly lead to their ranks containing many who choose to transition solely through social means, or in only minor physical ways. Conclave members often ask the pronouns of those they meet, and are somewhat famous among other guilds for their members using a wide variety of neopronouns rarely seen in the other guilds, especially not in as large of numbers.

Overall, the Selesnya are one of the guilds most freely accepting of trans people, and are a common choice for guildless, as they offer their herbal remedies and guidance freely to any who come to them. The subtle price of course, is having to listen to their recruitment pitch to join their guild, but despite general social pressure, they don’t make any more insistent demands of those who transition with them.

The Orzhov Syndicate

Syndicate members in high standing often have the money to pursue transition through other guilds that meet their specific needs. The services of both the Dimir and Azorius are popular, as both are efficient, customizable experiences whose main issues are access and money, both of which the Orzhov elite have in spades.

That said, there are two methods of transition unique to the Orzhov, though they are unpopular among the elite for reasons that will become clear.

The first is through so-called ‘total possession’. Though the Orzhov deal frequently with ghosts and possession is a rather common occurrence, total possession is a more involved affair. This involves a ghost completely taking over a person’s mind and going so far as to reshape their body as well. Most commonly, they reshape their host into the form the ghost had in life (though often somewhat idealized). This can of course can be a fairly drastic change when the host is a different gender than the ghost.

Now, obviously this is an ineffective method of transition as long as the ghost remains in control, but using it as a method of transition involves allowing the ghost to reach full possession, to reshape the body into the desired form, and then to exercise them. As this involves the host losing control of their body for some time, not getting much if any control over their final form (unless they called a specific ghost whose living form they wished to look like) and then relying on an outside exorcist, it is considered a risky method of transition at best.

The other method of Orzhov-specific transition is known as ‘soul reshaping’. If someone has given their soul over in debt to another, that new holder of the soul, if they know the right spells, can reshape the soul of the one they hold in thrall to whatever they want. This can be extreme – often being used to make the subject’s mind pliable and obedient and to twist their body into a thrull or other pitiable being.

However, it is certainly possible that a kind soul-holder might reshape someone’s soul so that it fits more with what they view themselves as, with their body soon following suit. In cases where a trans person’s soul is held this way, their soul is usually already ‘shaped’ closer to their desired gender anyway (in such a way as a soul can be said to have a shape) and thus the actual effort needed on the soul-holder’s part is minimal.

Like total possession, the fact that this method of transition requires surrendering oneself fully to another makes it all but unheard of among those with other options, but it is a frequent dream of the highly indebted and the desperate.

The Izzet League

The Izzet league is famous for their odd experiments and outlandish inventions, which might lead one to believe that they’d have a wide range of options for those seeking to change their gender. And in a way, that’s not entirely wrong. But the thing to remember is that it is the Simic Combine who focus more on the biological side of experimentation, meaning that options within the Izzet tend to be less varied than one might expect.

Now, given the highly individualized and experimental nature of the league’s countless inventors and mages, likely there are a dizzying array of unique and one-off devices capable of altering one’s body to fit their gender identity. However, we will focus here on the two methods most commonly found that can perform this effect – both of which are quite effective, so long as you don’t care about remaining humanoid.

The first method is the ‘weird’ method. Weirds are ooze-like elemental creations, and the Izzet are (usually) quite good at making them. Transferring one’s mind into a weird, whose body can then be fluidly reshaped to fit whatever gender presentation one desires, is a well-trodden field of Izzet research, which isn’t to say it doesn’t often go wrong in unpredictable ways, but that’s true of basically anything the Izzet work on.

Similarly in the field of mind transfer, uploading one’s consciousness into a robotic construct body, while not extremely popular, is also a burgeoning field of Izzet research. One could sculpt their own ideal construct body in advance this way, and then live out their life outside of humanity, upgrading or changing things as desired.

The Golgari Swarm

The swarm are an interesting situation when it comes to transition resources. As the guild in charge of handling Ravnica’s trash and refuse, they often come across the methods to cobble together close-enough facsimiles of the methods that every other guild uses in their transition methods and rituals, and it is through these second-hand acquisitions that many members of the swarm make their transitions.

The swarm’s primary unique method of transition comes from specially grown fungi. Similar to the herbal transition methods of the Gruul or Selesnya, these fungi alter one’s physical body towards another gender expression. However, unlike those methods which produce a gradual change across several months, the fungi of the Golgari take effect after just a few doses. This rapid shift is accompanied by intense pain and vivid hallucinations, though those who utilize this method often say that they see both the pain and the visions as important steps not just towards a body they can feel more comfortable in, but towards self-acceptance and the abandonment of fears over not ‘truly’ being their desired gender.

The other method of transition within the swarm is through the sting of the shifter wasp. A single sting from this creature causes a total shift of sexual characteristics over a single agonizing day. The wasps are rare however, and the pain is not always survivable, making this a method seen as dangerous and undesirable. It is also one of the few on Ravnica that is commonly inflicted on the unwary and unwilling. Fortunately, there are many ways to alter one’s body back to what it originally was if one finds oneself transitioned against their will.

The Boros Legion

The Boros are perhaps one of the least interested in the process of transition. They aren’t against it, per se, and it is legion policy to treat all as they wish to be treated, a policy actually enforced and with harsh punishments for violation to boot.

That said, legionaries seeking transition often go outside the guild to obtain the transition services of another guild, something the Boros do allow, if not openly encourage. That said, there is an ‘official’ method of transition within the guild, but due to the legion’s practical, militaristic focus, it is quite specific and comes with certain requirements, to which it owes its relative unpopularity.

Despite being egalitarian in their overall forces, official Boros transition resources are split into two distinct paths for female to male and male to female. There is no official Boros resource for nonbinary members, who typically just seek the services of another guild.

Legionnaires who wish to transition from female to male within the Boros go to minotaur program. This program involves drinking a volatile potion brewed from minotaur blood and bottled lightning which transforms one into a male minotaur. As a side effect, the drinker often goes temporarily berserk, but this is a known side-effect and usually well-handled. The potion is somewhat difficult to make, and as a result, those who take this method of transition are typically conscripted into a specialized unit for a period of time as ‘compensation’ for their use of the potion.

The process for legionnaires wishing to transition for male to female also involves a transformation, but this time and even more drastic one. Only a few legionnaires every year are eligible for this process, an honor often reserved only for the most elite and successful soldiers. The process involves being turned into an angel – and, as some know, the angels of the Boros are all clones of the original angel, Razia. As a result, the transformation necessarily involves taking on the physical characteristics of a female, red-haired angel, rippling with muscles and infused with powerful magic.

Like the minotaur program, the transformation into an angel (often referred to as ‘ascension’) can come with mental side-effects though in this case they tend to be more severe, with new angels often finding their mindset shifting to become more practical, focused, and emotionally detached, save for the emotions needed for battle.

The exact process used for ascension is a closely guarded Boros secret, but it is known that it is fairly extensive – certainly much more than the potion required for becoming a minotaur. Persistent rumors, likely spread by the Dimir, say that the hopeful ascendant’s body is slowly burned away by holy flame and remade by the songs of existing angels. Though new angels are sworn to secrecy on the process, their defensiveness over accusations towards the process working that way seem to imply it is at the very least, close to the truth.

The Simic Combine

The Simic Combine is famous for their bioengineering, and of course, this means that altering a body to fit one’s desired gender is trivial for them.

The combine see transition as something desirable, and many in the Simic transition just to see what its like even if its not a deeply held desire of theirs. Transitioning with the Simic often comes with other body modifications (or 'upgrades' as they more commonly refer to them) and so most trans people in the Simic are also sporting gills, claws, and any number of other exotic features in addition to their new gender expression.

Ironically, despite their well-honed mastery of the art of transition and the stunning array of ‘extras’ they have on offer, the Simic are rarely sought out as a path to transition by those outside the guild, as they have a bad habit of including ‘unwanted additions’ in the form of experimental biogenetic alterations to those outside their guild. That said, those who seek to transcend not only their gender but their humanity often see the Simic as their saviors, and the Simic certainly has no shortage of members willing to perform changes for free to those willing to participate in a few experiments along the way.

[majikkulu]

━━ ❝ masterlist ❞

these are my personal observations and may not resonate with everyone. please take them with a grain of salt, as i'm not a professional astrologer! :))

(i don’t know much about greek gods and goddesses, but i joined a top model contest where i have to dress up as a greek deity. it landed on hecate, and since she represents witchcraft and spirituality, i felt inspired to do an asteroid hecate lmaoooo. i hope yall will like my interpretation ;pp.)

asteroid hekate (100) is a greek goddess who rules over witchcraft, crossroads, and the night. she represents the deep, hidden parts of life, like the mysteries of life and death, and changes that happen in the dark or behind the scenes. think of her as a super-powered flashlight that helps you find your way when you’re lost in a dark forest. hekate helps you tap into your inner wisdom and guides you through tough times or big decisions.

where hekate is in your chart it points to areas where you might face crossroads, big changes, and hidden truths. it’s like having a special ability to understand things that aren't obvious right away. hekate also helps with personal transformation, helping you move from one part of your life to another.

𝖍𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖓 1𝖘𝖙 - they have a really cool, mysterious vibe that makes people curious about them. their intuition is super strong, and they might even have psychic abilities. this gives them a natural wisdom that others find fascinating, especially if they’re into spiritual stuff. while they might be drawn to spiritual practices, fully embracing them could be challenging. they’re very sensitive to their surroundings and trust their instincts. their journey involves listening to their inner voice and following their gut. people feel there’s more to them than meets the eye, and their powerful presence can be very magnetic. however, they might struggle with knowing exactly who they are and what path to take.

𝖍𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖓 2𝖓𝖉 - they’ve got a knack for making smart choices with their money and possessions through their intuition. their financial situation might go through a lot of ups and downs, but these changes help them figure out what’s truly important to them. they might find themselves deciding what to keep and exploring new ways to earn money. they probably value items with special meaning. over time, their priorities might shift, and they’ll rethink what’s worth holding onto. they might be drawn to earning money through spiritual work like astrology or tarot. even though their finances can be a bit unpredictable, they should remember that their true worth comes from their spiritual and intuitive gifts, not just material things.

𝖍𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖓 3𝖗𝖉 - they speak in a way that’s intense and full of insight, often using metaphors and talking about deep topics like psychology or mystical themes. they might have a natural understanding of what others are thinking and feeling. advising their siblings or close relatives might come easily to them. however, they might find it tricky to clearly express their own thoughts and feelings, which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings.

𝖍𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖓 4𝖙𝖍 - they might go through major changes related to their family and home, like moving or shifts in family dynamics. their home could feel like a special, mysterious place that they protect strongly. they might discover deep truths about their family or even uncover secrets. they could be someone others rely on for emotional support, which can be a lot of pressure. they might have inherited spiritual abilities from their family, and these could be a big part of who they are. handling strong emotions and family conflicts might require them to take a step back for some introspection and healing. it’s important for them to set boundaries to take care of themselves while still being there for their loved ones.

𝖍𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖓 5𝖙𝖍 - they’re drawn to exploring spiritual themes through their creativity. creative activities help them express their deep, hidden truths. when they date, they look for strong emotional or spiritual connections and are often attracted to people who share their mystical interests. their intuition makes these connections intense and transformative, helping them understand themselves better. they use creative outlets to connect with their inner self and explore spiritual practices that make them happy. they’re also great with kids, understanding them intuitively and guiding them with wisdom. they might face creative blocks, but these challenges often lead to new insights or breakthroughs.

𝖍𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖓 6𝖙𝖍 - they might be drawn to careers with a spiritual theme, like healing or counseling. their job situation could change a lot, and they’ll likely know intuitively if something is wrong with their health, which might lead them to holistic practices like energy healing or meditation. emotional or spiritual issues might show up as physical symptoms. their daily routine might include spiritual practices like meditation, and they might naturally organize what feels right to them. helping others could be fulfilling, especially when it comes to understanding their personal and emotional struggles. however, this placement might also lead to stress or dissatisfaction, causing them to overthink their path or daily tasks.

𝖍𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖓 7𝖙𝖍 - they form deep, transformative relationships and attract partners who are intense and spiritual. these partners might push them to explore new sides of themselves and their relationship dynamics. they have an intuitive understanding of their partner’s needs and desires. they might be drawn to mysterious partners who reveal hidden parts of themselves or their relationship. some connections could feel significant or even karmic. this placement can also bring challenges related to control and emotional conflicts, similar to having pluto in the 7th house.

𝖍𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖓 8𝖙𝖍 - for them, intimacy can be intense and revealing, bringing up psychological and spiritual truths about themselves and their partners. they might be interested in exploring hidden or taboo aspects of sex. their intuition is strong when it comes to shared finances. they might face fears and psychological issues that lead to personal growth. they could be interested in mystical practices like astrology or tarot. working through past traumas and unresolved issues can bring healing and a sense of renewal. however, they might encounter issues with control or power in their intimate relationships or financial dealings. despite these challenges, they could do really well in business.

𝖍𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖓 9𝖙𝖍 - they might experience changes in their beliefs and how they view life's purpose, often leading them to a more spiritual perspective. they could be drawn to esoteric or occult philosophies and approach learning with their intuition. traveling might bring transformative experiences and new insights. they might be attracted to places with spiritual or mystical significance, prompting deeper reflection. exploring the universe and its mysteries could fascinate them. their deep knowledge and intuitive understanding can make them a great teacher.

𝖍𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖓 10𝖙𝖍 - their career and goals might go through changes, and they could be drawn to roles that involve mystical practices. the public might see them as someone who brings a unique, transformative energy with innovative ideas. their strong intuition can help them make decisions that lead to success. in their work, they might take on a mentoring role. this placement can bring intense or challenging experiences, and they might explore hidden aspects of society.

𝖍𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖓 11𝖙𝖍 - they might experience deep and transformative friendships and interactions. they often attract friends who are intense or spiritual, bringing significant changes into their life. they might be drawn to groups with mystical or esoteric interests. their long-term goals might involve spiritual themes, and they have an intuitive sense of their dreams and aspirations. they could experience intense dynamics within their social circle, like power struggles. they might take on a leadership role in their group, providing guidance and support. their aspirations have a spiritual purpose, leading to a fulfilling journey.

𝖍𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖓 12𝖙𝖍 - they might go through inner changes and transformations, exploring hidden parts of themselves. this can lead to self-discovery and healing. spending time alone can offer them growth and spiritual insight. they might be pushed to confront and address shadow aspects of themselves, which can be intense but also healing. they may need to work through self-sabotaging tendencies. their path involves deep inner work and exploring hidden realms, so trusting their inner guidance and intuition is key. this placement can bring healing, inner peace, and insights from unknown sources.

[apocalypse-shuffle]

BLACK NOIR | EARVING (the boys)

—

“Promotion” (Black Noir x Fem!Reader)

| Being Black Noir’s new handler and him becoming obsessed with you since Mr. Edgar himself assigned you to him.

| SFW, vought employee!reader, (TW: Noir is kind of stalking the Reader, who’s uncomfortable but adapting mostly)

| 1k+ words

“You want me to…what?”

“Be Noir’s new personal handler.” He fans his hands out on the table with a shrug and gives you a disarming smile. “You’ll be expected to parlay direct mission instructions from me, accompany him to said missions and stay with the deployment team. I expect you to give written reports on his performance at the end of every day, active mission or not…”

Your eyes continue to widen as his barrage keeps going. This job would require you to be present for everything short of Noir wiping his ass and even then you’ll be outside the restroom.

Mr. Edgar finishes, gives you an expectant look, and you clear your throat.

“And, what if I don’t want the new position?”

“I don’t see why not.” He shrugs, “I mean unless you don’t think you’re good enough for the promotion. Then I suppose I’ll just have to tell Ashley her recommendation was for naught.”

You laugh.

“No no, that’s fine. There’s no need to tell her anything…” you gulp, watching the man just look back at you before taking a second more to inhale, “…ex-cept that her recommendation payed off.”

He tilts his head and it feels like his eyes are boring through your own, boiling your brain to mush. Your voice is small as you push the rest of your words out in one exhale.

“And that I’ll be starting my new position tomorrow. Sir.”

You stretch a smile across your face and hiss out a sigh of relief as that finally gets the man to respond.

He instantly reanimates, reaching atop his desk to hand you a secure black portfolio made from hard plastic.

“That’s great. I’m glad you decided to take on this new journey, Ms. L/n. May it serve you well. Have a good day.”

You don’t dare drop your smile as you take the offered portfolio and shove it under your arm.

“Right.” You take a moment to mourn the loss of your old job before nodding, “Thank you for the opportunity, Sir. You have a good day as well.”

The older man nods back at you, attention immediately gone back to his computer monitor afterward. You blow out air from your nose and then turn on your heels.

It’s not until you’ve left the board room that it hits you.

“Shit.”

The man had just played you. Goddamn Edgar and his resoluteness. Once he’d decided to “ask” you about the upgrade in position he never intended for it to be an actual request.

You rub your temple and head to the restroom. At least you had the rest of the hours in the day before tackling your new job.

You hunker down in the stall after peeing to look over the papers Mr. Edgar gave you. As you're skimming through a whole lot of shit marked “classified” or “redacted” you have the stray thought to be glad that Translucent’s creep ass wasn’t here to ogle you and be all in your business anymore.

Thank the higher power for small mercies, you suppose.

All the snippets of information you're gathering are kind of baffling. Legal name: Earving (of all things), biological male, six foot two, African-American (that’s fun; may be the reason he took such a liking to you too, not many black people made it to the top floors of Vought after all). You dog-ear a packet about some sort of imaginary animals he sees in his mind before looking over a page about a severe peanut allergy. Hmm.

By the end of the day you’ve nearly gotten all the way through Noir’s portfolio, and you’ve also worked up an itch to get out of your skin that means you’re not working overtime worth a goddamn.

At six o’clock on the dot all of your crap is already quite thoroughly packed, your former workspace - barren thing that it already was due to regulations - was cleaned out and ready for the next poor soul, and you’re in the elevator heading for the sub-level garage.

Dead stare locked onto the floor numbers you become acutely aware of the bags weighing your eyes down.

“Fuck,” you sigh.

Black Noir's Personal Handler.

Despite Mr. Edgar’s clear efforts it was more than a little known open secret that personal handlers rarely got to retire. Madelyn Stillwell’s death might’ve been something none of you dared discuss for fear of either Edgar or - heaven forbid - Homelander catching wind and putting you back in your place, but it was a pattern of the job that you all were well aware of.

Though you’d take Mr. Edgar’s culling over whatever Homelander could possibly come up with.

Something about his blonde, blue-eyed, ass didn’t sit right with your spirit.

Far as PR and wrangling went though, short of maybe Starlight, any wrinkles Black Noir managed to make would be the easiest to smooth out.

Plus, even with you and Noir having some form of a pre-established relationship it was in no way dependent or built upon you being Noir’s emotional epicenter like Madelyn and Homelander’s weird…dynamic was.

You had seen and heard far too much in your years working for Vought to think for a second that there wasn’t something dark and twisted going on with The Seven, but Noir still seemed mellow in comparison to the rest and their constant ego trips and dick measuring.

You had zero clue how letting the fully covered man teach you a few notes to a song at the Christmas party when everyone was drunk off eggnog and watered down booze and sitting with him when he was crying on the floor once led you to this.

Sure the silent man and you had somewhat hit it off - so far as you were one of the few non-supers he didn’t intimidate or just flat out ignore - but to be made so intimately in charge of him seemed like a bit much.

Noir had seemed endlessly patient with you as he played for you and then eventually decided he’d teach you how to play the piano yourself, the sides of your bodies’ shifting incrementally until you were pressed flush to one another in both of yous concentration, so you could really only hope he kept that same levelness with you as his handler.

You bank the corner, work bag and portfolio on the same arm, and fish out your keys so you can unlock your trunk and shove your shit inside.

Hope truly was the name of the game here unfortunately. You could only hope Noir kept up his “good” streak, and that that streak wasn’t just a farce that you were now in charge of covering up. Hope that he didn’t end up getting angry or reckless and making you one of those *redacted* cases with a ‘cause of death, unknown’ attached to your name, because you could do nothing to stop him if he wanted to kill you.

Shiver racking up your spine and turning your blood to static, you snap your trunk closed, turning to leave when—

“—Fucking Christ!”

Eyes gone wide and spit having nearly choked you from your sharp inhalation before your exclamation, you do your best to appear composed as Black Noir himself steps out from a conclave of shadows to stand in front of you.

The Devil, you find yourself thinking. Had he been following you this whole time?

For his part Noir doesn’t move aside from cocking his head to the side.

Steadily, you force calmness onto yourself. Ignoring that your voice is too high when you call his name.

“Black Noir,” you say, trying to seep the professionalism back into your tone while smoothing down the creases in your pantsuit, “surprised to see you here. What can I do for you?”

The smile you offer him feels wonky even as you command the muscles up, but it’s the best you can do with your heart hammering against your chest as if it wants to run off and leave you behind.

For a couple more beats the man doesn’t do more than size you up presumably before finally - as you were weighing the pros and cons of just getting in your car despite his presence - raising a hand to point at your trunk.

You catch on to his meaning fairly quickly, your smile dropping to something more natural whilst you huff a tiny laugh.

“Oh yeah, guess Mr. Edgar must’ve told you. I’m your new handler - you know, if you had one before that is. I don’t…actually know…” you trail off, shifting on your heels when Noir only continues to keep his stillness.

“Mhm,” you mutter, rocking backwards, just staring until finally Noir shifts and there’s suddenly a pad and pen in his hand.

He flips casually to a clear page before starting to write and you’re fairly sure this is the first time he’s ever actually ‘talked’ to you.

Huh.

Not long after does the pad get flipped over and brandished to you. You click your teeth together.

‘Edgar says you’ll do good,’ he scribbles, writing absolute chicken scratch and letters far too large on the medium sized pages, before flipping the pad back to himself and writing some more.

‘Believe in you!’ and a whole bunch of smiley faces is what meets you once he lets you see.

You blink. Noir puts the pad back wherever he had it initially to give you two thumbs up.

You muster a slightly bigger half smile for his efforts.

“Thanks Noir,” you say, words more sincere than you’d been expecting.

A nod and an eternity more of silence and staring is what he gives you in response.

You’re getting ready to shift, to awkwardly relay that you’d like to be getting home soon, when Noir stiffens suddenly - and isn’t that startling, a man so tall and so strapped with sharp explosive deadly things going so alert like that - head tilting like he’s listening for something.

A few seconds go by like that where he doesn’t do anything else and you fight to keep yourself still, smile gone and part of your lip caught firmly between your teeth.

Then Noir’s giving you a nod and leaving just as silently and unseenly as he had come.

You wait another two-three beats before scrambling into your car. The sound of your lock engaging sounds like salvation and the steering wheel feels like a lifeline as you grip it with stiff nearly foreign fingers.

God.

You force a deep breath into your lungs, make sure it comes out more steadily than it came in.

At least Mr. Edgar didn’t dump you onto Homelander’s lap. Something in you shrivels up and dies at the mere prospect. You nod, your hands flexing on the steering wheel.

This was definitely better.

NOTES: Hope you enjoyed!!

This is a semi companion story to “Pandora’s Melody” if you’d like to check that one out as well.

btw: if you’d like to leave a comment I’d very much appreciate it!

[ashherahh]

your next major relationship

Note: Please take it if it resonates, leave it if it doesn't. Meditate before making your decision. It's completely okay if you don't resonate with this reading. The collective is huge and I'm sure you'll receive the messages you need in due time.

pile 1

Cards: Seven of Wands, The Fool Rx, Five of Pentacles, Two of Cups Rx.

You're very close to achieving your goal.

Luck is on your side.

I am surprised that you actually still believe in relationships and love after the absolute shit shows of the past. You must feel like the most unlucky person when it comes to love.

Past relationships always brought out this kind of cold war with you and your partner, as though you were always at odds with your partners. Part of you felt like you were the problem for the longest time because you know, common denominator but upon more reflection, you've come to terms with the fact that you were asking the wrong people for what you need.

Those experiences hardened you. I'm seeing that it'll bleed into this next relationship to a certain degree. Your next relationship will heal a lot of those wounds of the past. You'll go from someone who always finds themselves explaining themselves and having that turn into a fight, to someone who no longer has to worry about being misunderstood.

When the cards first popped out, the messages were quite clear. Past relationships may influence your next major one, but you can always turn that around. You literally have luck on your side, your next major relationship is going to be a good one if you let it.

Love requires trust, and that might be the most difficult thing for you now but it'll be worth it.

pile 2

Cards: Two of Pentacles Rx, Two of Cups, Nine of Pentacles, Knight of Pentacles Rx.

The answers you need are coming.

A time for healing.

You build something in your next relationship. Possibilities are endless, but it'll definitely redefine how you see yourself and your life. It's a leveling up in life.

Gone are the days of feeling uncertain and uncomfortable about making decisions about your life. This next major relationship kicks everything into gear, an inspiration is birthed from this union that brings you closer and closer to the life you've always dreamed of living.

It'll come in suddem but it'll last. This is a relationship you'll have for years and years, this person will be around and see you through so many phases of life.

Maybe you have some planets in the 7th house or some of them are in Libra. Those placements usually thrive in partnerships because it acts as a reflection, it helps them delve deeper. Even if you don't have those placements, that is what this relationship will be.

This will truly be a beautiful partnership. One that is filled with mutual trust and love and ways of thinking. It'll be one that is so understanding and deep. This is someone you can truly be yourself with.

pile 3

Cards: Strength, Five of Wands, The Emperor, The Moon.

Believe in the impossible.

Balance spirituality and practicality.

This will hit you like a freight train. No one truly expects to meet someone who will become an integral part of their life, it usually builds slowly over time. Not this person though, you'll know when you meet this person. It'll be so immediate and in your face, you won't be able to deny the importance this person will have going forward.

Your connection will feel surreal at times. It's giving Edward and Bella. Get a room, honestly. The emotions are big in this relationship, it's very intense. But it's the kind of partnership that is strong through all trials and tribulations.

You know you can depend on this person no matter what you face, they are solid and strong. Their strength gives you strength in a way.

This next major relationship really exhances who you are. It influences you in a way that solifies your character and who you are. The relationship is quite balanced, giving and receiving is done in great degrees and in your own unique ways.

This is not the kind of relationship you lose yourself in at all. Individualism is respected by both you and your partner.

[seelestia]

⟡ within your waking thoughts (there i’ll be).

⎯ what do they do when they miss you? how do they cope with yearning when you're away? { y for yearning ノ ordered by @floraldresvi! (sorry for the ping!) }

RESERVED FOR! ノ characters. aventurine, sunday, dr. ratio ft. gn!reader. { 1.3k words }

FLAVOR! ノ genre. fluff, slight angst (my apology to sunday lovers yet again), established relationship.

TOPPINGS! ノ tags. aventurine has his tech savvy moment, pre-2.2 sunday (heavy references but no spoilers), ratio has two phones (king of separating work & personal life !!!).

BAKER’S NOTE! ノ thoughts. a repost! bcs tumblr didn't like it the first time. hopefully, this one will be here to stay. thank u to vivi for requesting this ‹3

© seelestia on tumblr, may 2024. please do not repost, plagiarize, translate, use for AI-related purposes or claim as your own.

in your absence, aventurine welcomes little thoughts of you that float around his mind with open arms - and the way he indulges them is by simply texting you. effective and efficient, there is a reason why the cosmos calls it the second most used means for long distance communication. what about the first? well, he would've opted for calling you with his earpiece if only his line of work doesn't require 90% of its usage time.

let's just say the idea of fellow stonehearts interrupting his conversation with you ruins the fun. besides, he has deft fingers; coin tricks aren't the only thing in his book, you know, typing a few sentences in one go is no problem at all.

but maybe, he is using that too much to his advantage . . . considering the “25+” staring back at you from your notifications every few hours or so. aventurine is truly, irrevocably relentless.

anything even remotely in your favorite color found within his vicinity? new message: Saw something that reminded me of you, you must really like crossing my mind.

an item he thinks would fit you well? new message: I got you a gift. Does it suit your fancy? [1 attachment]

reminded of how cruel fate is to separate you two for so long? new message: Haven't seen your face in a while. Fifteen hours are a total too cruel, don't you agree?

have faith that you will never grasp the true meaning of boredom when you’re apart from him. luck follows a man like aventurine, so do interesting events - remember how he won a vacation to a resort with one chip? he revels in telling you stories of his encounters while you're away. it is as if thrill revolves around him constantly. . . one wonders just how he fares living on the edge of it all.

(you, for one, are aware of his ways. he has allowed you to wander far enough behind his masquerade, after all.)

of course, texts on an illuminated screen can barely compare to seeing you in person. he prefers having you in his arms instead - but he'll live. solitude is an old friend of his, albeit distant and cold, aventurine can deal with its company every once in a while. at the end of the day, he knows you’ll be there when he comes home.

though, it's such a shame he cannot see your face when you're apart. the curve of your lips as you smile, the twinkle in your eyes with his reflection in them, and. . . ah, seems like he is making this harder for himself. maybe, he should consider buying that HD holographic communicative device on the market? his ears caught wind of some P45 officers at pier point whispering about it before.

it'll cost a large sum of credits but hey, he thinks it'll be worth it. for you? anything is possible.

(...him? clingy? well, guilty as charged.)

sunday’s self-discipline is not something to be underestimated. halovians are a species known for their enchanting voices, yet he feels as if he cannot spare any for even his inner thoughts. what an irony. his longing for your presence is persistent, tumbling at the edge of his tongue - but he is equally as, if not more, stubborn and so he swallows this yearning down instantly.

you are not confined to the dreamscape like he is, as self-imposed as that may be. sunday is aware of that, hence his first instinct is to keep quiet. the curse of sealing his lips till forevermore; watching you leave through the grand doors, letting his gaze fall to where your shadow used to be, savoring the last of your remaining fragrance from when you last bade him goodbye - all without a word.

(don't go, he wished he could say.)

is it a bad habit? “your voice shouldn't be used just to utter words that others want to hear,” you reminded him once. “it's also for you. it's yours.”

but even then, your words are akin to a faint whisper; muffled by the thoughts that plague his mind like a mist. he can't help how they fog up his reflection in the mirror, leaving remnants of something acrid that wafts in the air. something like doubts, sunday would know because he has dwelled in it for as long as he remembers.

you are outside, fluttering your wings in the sky and enjoying what it has to offer. does he have any rights to disturb you? perhaps, in his eyes, sunday views himself as a string tied around your talon, trailing all the way from the heavens where you soar to the humble ground where he resides. each time your absence compels him to reach out, it is as if he’s tugging on that string and dragging you lower from the height you truly relish in, from the height you deserve to be at.

(sunday believes that you belong to the sky, unlike him.)

so here, he shall stay and here, he shall wait until you return. sunday’s heart begins to grow cold - but the farewell kiss you've left on the apple of his cheek hasn't faded. its warmth remains, even when he brushes his freezing hand against it, it remains.

you remain.

(and that is enough for him.)

dr. ratio is a man with a packed schedule, so it's safe to say he keeps himself occupied particularly well. tasks at the intelligentsia guild are nothing short of demanding, after all. there are researchers asking for his input left and right, although some tremble while speaking to him even when he hasn't even uttered a word yet. ignoring that, he also aids in projects that require his expertise. last but not least, his students and classes which he takes very seriously.

(but be careful with how you phrase it — the doctor doesn't view them as distractions, no, he sees them as his responsibilities — saying the former might offend him.)

as you can see, he is perfectly capable of spending time away from you. . . .or at least, until it's time for a break and a part of that perfection chips off.

his office is quite tranquil, free from outside noise, just the way he likes. this place bears a similar purpose as his headgear, to let him focus in silence without disturbance - but he hasn't expected that exact silence to be this deafening. hah, how absurd! in what realm of possibility could silence ever be associated with deafening as an adjective? he supposes it could be a case of tinnitus. . . but veritas knows that isn't the case.

something's missing and it is, much to his dismay, you.

veritas has his standards. he prefers things to be set at a specific level - and this level of silence, one marred further by your lack of presence, is too low for him. he's getting too used to seeing you barge into his office with neatly packed sandwiches in your hands, a revelation he'd rather keep to himself.

veritas reaches for his personal phone, his work one left neglected at the far end of the desk. he considers making a call to you but the clock is ticking. tick tock tick tock, as if to hang the fact that his break is reaching its end over his head.

utilizing whatever time he has left, his finger gives the gallery app a tap. various pictures pop up on the screen; selfies of you with silly expressions, candid shots of veritas himself and some photos of random objects like your matching mugs. all of these were taken by you, of course. seriously, is this his phone or is it yours?

who knows at this point? he nearly lets out a snort, but that smile on his face is fooling no one. the doctor continues scrolling through his gallery, utterly content with just this until he gets home. to you.

(yes, yes, this still counts as keeping himself occupied. thank you for your concern.)

— thank you for reading! reblogs with comments are most appreciated.